The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am dealing with negative flashbacks the past couple of days- really undermining. Things I had forgotten that have come back up to the surface. I know that this must be a kind of "purging" to release them. Most of them revolve around DV with my AH who I am not living with.
All of these flashbacks are old (at least a couple of years old if not older). This is my ace in the hole: THEY ARE FROM THE PAST and I keep telling myself that THEY ARE NOT HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. I am working to leave the past in the past, where it belongs.
I keep telling myself that I am safe and that he is no where near me. I keep telling myself that I have complete control over who I spend time with and who I do not spend time with. He is literally an ocean away.
Just for today, all is well. Even though some really ugly pictures have come forth it does not mean I need to do anything about them or with them. I just need to take a look and then let them dissolve and go off to my HP.
Thank you for listening. Hugs and love in serenity, J.
I deal with these alot myself. I have been for many months now and they seem to be getting better. I did the same thing, I just kept telling myself that that was the past, it is not happening now and I am safe. I do wish that my ex was an ocean away and not just 3 blocks but we get what we need not what we want right? This too shall pass but here's a ((((hug)))) till it does.
When I find myself reliving the past, I try to remember something that I heard an Al-Anon speaker say-- "we learn to stay where are hands are." It is a useful tool for me (most of the time) to pull me out of my head (a dangerous place to be sometimes) and back into reality.
Hang in there!! You are not alone!!
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
Sorry those old memories are coming back to bother you. I wonder if you wrote them down, then threw them in an old coffee can and burned them, if that would help. Kind of a way of purging the past. Now I have not been a victim of domestic violence and I can't imagine how hard that must be. But maybe there's a way of releasing them (even symbolically) to give you some sort of peace. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Just a hug (((((Jean))))), as you seem to have it a good attitude about it. HP sends this stuff when it's needed. Maybe he's reminding you that going back is not a good idea, or just to keep your eyes wide open when you do.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
hello Jean I don't know if your attending f2f meetings or not but they will really help and a sponsor would be a big asset to you and your recovery , you have the right idea flashbacks are just that *the past* keep up the self talk , talk them out with someone in program and they will loose their power. good luck Louise
Thanks for the great ESH. I do attend F2F 3-4 x per week. I do not have a sponsor at this time. Working on it. They have stopped and I have talked them through with a close friend and it helped a lot. I think I just need to keep this information in mind to keep me aware/on my toes. Also, I need to do some grieving about some of this material, too. Accept what happened. Believe it. Know it. Own my part in it, too. Also, not blow it all out of proportion- have the feelings and then let it all go: not use it to fuel drama. I do not know what I would do w/o you guys, thank you for your illumination. Hugs and love, J.
