The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The A called me twice last night in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him a lot lately, doing a lot of greiving. I am absolutely clear it is over between us. I do not intend to return any calls. I also do not have anything more to say to him. I always had so much raging and grieving to do towards him I realise he is so advanced with his disease he hears none of it so why waste my breath.
I am really pretty sick with horrible bronchitis and a nasty flu.
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
The fact that you are so strong even when you are down shows what a good place you are in. I know it's hard though even when we know we are doing the right thing. I sometimes think it is harder when I realize the truth and when my feelings change toward him toward some resembleance of indiffrence because then the dream is really dying. I am thinking and praying for you now.
thanks for the feedback. You are right he could always wear me down before. Ironically as a codepedent for me its what he did to the dogs, starved and neglected them that has outraged me. He starved and neglected me too emotionally but he thinks he can always come back and get more from me. I shut the door. I will never open it again. He's gone from my life.