The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of course waiting for the shoe to fall. The clincher was not the fact that he gave me back his wedding ring or that he left for a two day bachelor party. It was that after our latest fight over what I was doing wrong to damage the relationship that he said "what are you waiting for?" All along I have been waiting for this massive overhaul in his personality and behaviors. There it was clear as crystal - this was as good as it was going to get. No more. Despite the ramifications of a divorce I am calm and the house is peaceful. I would appreciate your prayers, but I am really, really okay with this decision.
OU. you sound OK. Wow, I might be in the same boat in a few months- I hear you. I have been away from my husband for two years and I go back to face the music in May. That music is most likely going to be pretty darn ugly but I need to deal with it to the best of my ability.
Geez, how much nastiness can a soul take? This is my question in my own situation, too. He complained about everything I did and did not do so now of course, he complains that we do not know each other any more because I just stopped contacting him I was so sick of hearing about what a rotten person I was. Nothing is ever good enough for these people- let someone else deal with them. Like you said, the peace in the home and the mind is so incredibly sweet, isn't it?! For me, it truly felt heaven-sent.
And yes, it is going to be OK. I realized that anything else life could bring me- disease, total poverty, other losses, etc. pale in comparison to living with an A (in my opinion) after getting away from him. You have my best thoughts and prayers. You will blossom- mark my words. Hugs, J.
You got them, they are already winging their way with a request for SERENITY to reign in/over you.
Sounds like someone turned a light-switch on enabling you to ACCEPT the things you cannot change and then gave you the COURAGE to change the things you can with WISDOM to know the difference.
Amen.
HeartB
__________________
"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
I remember that feeling of being "done". And it was a peaceful feeling surrounding my decision to leave. It didn't mean that I was happy and joyous. The fact was we were getting divorced and our family was done and all of that was sad and very hard for me to handle at times. But I really feel that when I left, it was the right thing for me and the kids. I will send prayers for your continued strength.
