The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next.
In the daytime, I am tired, low energy and know that anything can change my plan from a sick kid to a snow day etc. My focus is so low lately that if I am interrupted in doing anything, I can't seem to go back to what I was doing. So I just try to not plan or do much. Then when all are asleep, I come alive because less chance to be distracted, no more issues or chance of issues (to be more accurate) with A, it is quiet and peaceful so I can operate with out having to think so much. In the daytime I just use avoidance - I don't think that is a good approach to life forever and if I stay up nights, no wonder I have low energy during the days.
I don't even know how or when this approach slipped into my life but at least I see it now. Kind of a lazy cop out and talk about isolation, avoidance would do that too. It's like I get a lid on one can of crazy and another lid pops off. Maybe it was just a stage to allow myself rest or sleep I never knew I needed. I didn't know what being energetic felt like anymore when I was trying to keep everything going, helping everyone and oh yeah, over controlling. Now that I feel I am focusing on myself lots better and with this avoidance technique of resting or sleeping I feel more rested so perhaps this is the springboard of starting to take action like sleep, eat and exercise ..........all that take care of myself stuff that I forgot all about. I hope so.
Just thinking and writing my thoughts out to see. Thanks for reading and wonder if this is what anyone else has done........survive their days with quick power naps and little night time sleep. Avoiding reality of days is my latest attempt of not thinking right. Perhaps I should go get some sleep now. good night hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
ddub, I like your springboard idea. I have a life where I need to be very flexible, also. I have very very little that is consistent in my life- soon I will be without a home (end of April), I do not know where I will move to, I do not know where money will come from, I will not have a job, I will soon not have a car, etc. things like that. Without this program I would be completely insane and fretting like crazy right now but I am not.
HP will take care of it all. HP got me to where I am today and HP will see me through to whatever is coming. Just because I cannot see it, does not mean HP cannot. I will make choices each day to attend to my own well being. I have lists of things to do. It will all fall into place.
Around here there is a white pick up truck with a huge sticker in the back window that says JUS' ROLL. I love spotting this truck. It reminds me to let go and JUS' ROLL.
I do not know if this helps but take care and have faith that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Hugs, J.
((ddub)) I think our bodies have an amazing way of helping us survive. When you think of the INCREDIBLE things our bodies do for us. There's no logical reason that the human species should have survived millions of years - yet here we are. Bigger and better than ever! I think it's because we have a natural "fight or flight" mentality that keeps us safe. That "flight" also takes the form of sleep. We "escape" our worries and our stresses, and we renew our bodies and spirits when we sleep. We are awake and "doing our living" at a time of day that our bodies feel is "safe".
I wouldn't worry about it. Your body is going through a phase. A transition period. Maybe think of it as a new "awakening" is on your horizon. I think the fact that you are so aware of it and thinking about it and writing about it, is very healthy. Your way of addressing your physiological self. I think the things that we say and write and think, have an affect on our minds and bodies. Keep talking and listening to your body.
