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One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without my heroric actions last year. I am so tired and worn out I do not remember how I pulled it all together last year. The A basically wanted the cats to camp out in some tent. There is no way they could survive that. My cat was 14 he had a good life, he was a happy boy. I know the stress of the last year caught up on him.
I also know I could have done no more for him. My resources are so incredibly stretched right now. I feel like its almost an emergency for me to move out of where I am but dont know where to turn to. I may try to work on something radical now I have unemployment and can have some time to strategize.
14 is a good long life, and I have no doubt he knew how much you loved him.
My oldest dog will turn 15 in April if she makes it that long. She was actually my oldest daughter's (the active alcoholic/addict), and I had taken the dog in several times over the years, usually in poor condition, while the oldest couldn't care for her.
This last time she brought her to me, the dog was flea-ridden, balding, coughing, lethargic, and no appetite. I told her that was it. No more, the poor dog was staying with me till she passed away.
Off to my vet's we went, and she was in congestive heart failure. The vet prescribed two medications and said we 'might' have a good year left with her.
Her coat is shiny and healthy, no fleas, she put weight back on, eats like a little piggy, and this April will mark 3 years since I took her to the vet.
I cherish each day that I have with her because I never know when it will be her last.
I hope that time will ease the ache in your heart. They never do really leave us, only in physical presence (((hugs)))
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
I am sending you love, prayers, and peace! I just helped my great dane, Asia to pass on to heaven on Tuesday. I have felt extremely sad, lonely, and well, empty. Animals have such a presence about them and are such big parts of our lives. I can understand how you feel. All I keep reminding myself of is that my pup is without pain now and able to run freely again. I will always miss her though and I look forward to the time that I do not expect to see her coming around the corner or to hear her bark...
Hang in there. I will be praying that your HP help to bring you peace with the situation.
L
Try not to feel guilty. I am sure that you gave your cat the love that she needed. Remember, part of an animals roll in our lives is to bring us comfort and be there for us. It is difficult for a codependent like myself to understand that someone can take care of me. I think that is why I felt so guilty that I had been so preoccupied in the last two months of my dogs life. My therapist told me to shake that off and accept her last few months as her last gift to me. She was there for me when I needed her. She was my trusted friend and I was her trusting friend. It is okay for them to be the strong ones, especially when they pass onto heaven.
Benny my siamese was so huge in my life. I was so aware he was not doing well but I had no idea he was really ill. I think he aged so much in the last year. I miss him dreadfully even though I am to be honest absolutely on overwhelm with my two dogs and one cat. I live in such a small space with them and it is so hard on me.
There are times when I just hate the A for pushing me into this space and other times when I see how incredibly ill and lost he is. I know someday someway I will hear he is no more pretty soon. He simply cannot continue on this downward spiral anymore. I really expect that news any day now. I also know I gave till I dropped and I simply do not have anymore to give. I am so very sad about my Benny boy. He was such a treasure and such a loving boy.
I feel like every around me is such an up hill struggle at the moment. I move one way and encounter so many obstacles. I am relieved I do not have to put on a mask and go to work on Monday but I am also aware that I have to push myself rigorously to get a decent job and move on. I really need to move to another level because I am simply not surviving where I am.
the kitties are dear!! I am sorry for your loss, Maresie. They are so loving. What would we do without them??!! It reminds me of when my Wea walked off to die. She was such a good old gal. Still brings tears to my eyes and its been 5 years! Hugs, J.
Sorry to hear about losing your cat. Pets are such a comfort. Last one I had was a pet bird that flew in the window and made a nest. She was so great for working my detachment with. If I left her alone, she would get comfortable enough to talk. Chatter away and I think she was yelling at me to not forget to bring home the worms like last time I forgot. :)
I don't think birds and cats get along but you never know.
What kind of cat was it? Big, little, striped or Calico? I'll pray that they let him/her in cat heaven for you. I need to know who to tell them to look for though. :)
((()) Maresie your cat had your constant love in her life, she was blessed to have someone so caring. Be glad that she went quickly and did not have to suffer too much pain. Luv Leo xx
I am so sorry for your loss. I have had Siamese cats all my life. They are such a loving breed. I have a female right now whose name is Maya.
The best thing that you have done for your Benny was to be a loving Mommy to him. These cats are real "People" cats, and for you to have kept him with you was the best thing you could have done for him. He was much happier being with you than he would have been otherwise.
I will pray that HP will give you comfort in your loss. Take care of yourself.
Love and Blessings,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
So very sorry to learn of your loss. I have two kitties, my Sophie is 14, Sidney is 13. We also "adopted" a stray names "Wiley" who stays outside. My other two are inside only kitties. Sophie has lost a lot of weight lately, and the vet was concerned. Did some tests, they all came back OK. Looks like she is just getting older and can't maintain the muscle mass she had when she was younger. Your kitty was loved very much, I can tell, and he knew that. He was lucky to have had you. I hate how alcohol destroys so much in our lives. It just takes and takes and takes. You did everything you could to protect your animals, and you did a good job. One thing came to mind as I was readiing your post. They say what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger. Well, I say....enough already. Jeesh! Sending hugs and prayers your way. Love in Recovery, Becky1
(((maresie))) So sorry for your loss. Know that your kitty knew how much you loved her. Cats seem to have a real sense of our love...and love us even when we don't love ourselves. I often think cats are great at teaching us the Alanon principals...they seem to know how to live and let live...first things first...the sure know the power of meditation (you know how they sit there with their eyes closed) and they do know how to get their needs met. Your kitty felt your love and was blessed to have you in her life. I think it's more they pick us than we pick them as companions. Sending you prayers of healing and love, your friend in recovery, rosie
