The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Every year I post this same question, to make people think. Finding a nook in your home, a place in the garden or yard, that you call your very own. An oasis of sorts where you can escape to when needed to regain your sanity. In our harried lives we tend to forget to take time to rest, meditate, relax, find some alone time etc. We find ourselves tending to everyone else's needs but our own, or putting them on the back burner til later etc., and later seems to never come. You could create a small area with a chair, book ready, with a soft blanket, in your bedroom, or make time to light candles and enjoy a bubble bath. I find my place, weather permitting, in my garden, a bench hidden amongst shrubs and flowers, and just enjoy the birds and the sounds of life happening around me. Something as simple as this can make a world of difference of how you will deal with todays problems..... Would love to hear where YOUR private space is away from it all?
My space is my art studio which is the old maid's quarters in the rear of my yard. It is a main room about 15' square and it has a bath and a kitchenette. It would be a great guest cottage, but I do not use it for that purpose. It's my space and only I hold the key to the door. It is set amidst a grove of lovely oak trees, and is breezy and quiet. And there is no tv or telephone. Paradise!
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
My private space is where ever I can find it. Sometimes it is in my room, my closet, the shower, the car, the backyard. I think someday I will have my own dedicated space but right now with three kids, my privacy is where I can grab it. I do put the kids to bed early (for their sake actually) so I do get about an hour before I crash just to enjoy MY life. My 15 minutes in the bathroom is all mine and the kids know unless someone is bleeding ALOT then DO NOT DISTURB MOM! LOL! So, I guess that is my guaranteed alone time every day. I do apperciate my time!
I LOVE your reply seren. When my sons were young, my response would have been exactly like yours. And "hooooray" for you for putting the kids to bed early. I always believed in that. Not only, as you say, is it good for their health, but you, or you and your spouse or companion, deserve some time in the evenings to regroup alone together. I think allowing the kids to spend every waking moment with the parents is a factor in the startling increase in violence towards children by parents.
Thanks for your response seren. It took me back...waaay back...
Best to ya,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
What private space? No place is sacred. I can't get 5 minutes alone if my kids are home without mom...mom...mom..
I do have private time though, I so cherish my Friday mornings/afternoons when I am off work and the kids are at school. During the summer, that suffers and I lose that time and then have none. Right now I am out of sick time and people are still getting sick so I will probably have to give up those fabulous days to work up some comp time :(
Last weekend I left the kids home and went out. They are home all the time for me to work but never for me to go out and have fun. 2 am the phone rings...mom, where are you? (I didn't get out the door till 10)
I am going to make it a priority to get out alone and spend time with myself or other adults.
My main private space is in my connection to my HP. it is like a metaphorical room only we share.
I have a studio which is mine alone. I spend a lot of time alone so that helps me to have plenty of private space but I do think mine can be quite portable and is like a vessel I carry with me wherever I happen to be in this world.
i have also had enormous warehouse studios that were mine alone and I loved that too (they were like cathedrals really), just me and my cat! I have had lovely gardens and yards. Sweet cozy apartments. Oh what a wonderful life I have had and what incredible beautiful spaces I have occupied! Right now I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Hawaii. I feel so grateful for all this- great post, thank you. J.
My bedroom is my private space. And after 14 years in my house, I decided to re-arrange my bedroom last month. My bed now faces the opposite wall. WOW - a new perspective. I then bought some new sheets and pillows and de-cluttered my space, added some different lighting, made a nook for my journal, my daily meditation books, my Bible, and my novel of the moment - along with lots of pens and reading glasses - and it's heavenly!!!! I just walk in there now and say "aaaahhhhh".....
I also enjoy my time in the car on the way to and from work and on the occasional longer trip out of town by myself. Some of my clearest thinking happens in the car alone!
Thanks gardengal....Hmmm, hard for me to find a place for myself. I find solace outside running in the woods, to the lake, and into the canyon with my dogs.I like my bedroom with my cat sleeping with me. I love sleeping out back with the Milky Way overhead.
My space is in the living room by the fireplace. I sit on my chair with my feet up and listen to classical music. It is most relaxing watching the fire.
Hugs,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Coming here is about it for me. I've got three little ones who are going non-stop. The middle one's been having nightmares every night (just started seeing a counselor to do something about that) and he comes in my bed every night. Then the youngest comes in around 5:00 and goes back to sleep. But my velcro boy wakes up when I get up at 6:00 to take a shower. He usually sits in the bathroom while I'm in there, just to keep him from waking his sisters that early.
They're usually in bed by 8:00 at the latest - but then I'm working (I do transcription at home when they're at school and sleeping). Then it's off to bed and more of the same...
So coming here is pretty much my "escape" for now.
Love this post! My favorite spot is in the woods by a babbling brook. But it can also be snuggled under the covers with Pipers Kitty. Any snowy day where I can be in the kitchen cooking a big pot of soup. A long hot shower or even my favorite bookstore. I'll treat myself to a cup of coffee and look at all those big, beautiful coffee table books that we can't afford. Sometimes serenity comes while walking to work in the morning and watching the squirrels frolic. Or walking home from work and gazing up at the stars. It's a reminder that there are bigger things than us out there. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
huuummmm, my favorite place, not realy sure. I once had a favorite place. It was in field, near some woods. I have not been there in a long time. Lately, I want to find that place, and never knew it. It is a place that is filled full of love and safety, with many special people. So lately, I guess it has been in the chat room. I have found so much understanding, and compassion there. I just wish that I could find it in real life. Maybe as I grow it will become better/ different, but this works for me today........
Around the bend and down the trail is a Rock. It's perched on top of a mountain and the mountain overlooks a valley and the valley was cut by a river that has seen it all. When I was younger I had another rock but it was much harder to get too. I have always sensed peace among the trees. Not far from this place is another set of trees. They are one of the few stands of virgin forest left. Sometimes it is so quiet I think I can hear the sap running up and down through tall majestic trees that were growing 4 and 500 years ago. Near the top a small valley unfolds. It is covered with rocks as big and tuff as life but overtop these rocks a sort of fern has grown so thick that you can kneel and pray.
Few bugs in late summer and those ferns might be a bit damp now and then but soft as can be.
Thank you all for responding. By doing this I hope we inspire others to find that place , whatever it may be, to find peace and serenity for themselves! Because if you dont take care of you first and foremost, you cannot take care of anyone else.
