The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anais Nin
How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time.
Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow.
Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there.
WOW That describes a lot about my life, but I can see that I have come a long way with the help of this wonderful programme. Today it's OK to be good enough and I dont fear failure anymore. Now if I could just get the courage to make the changes I can, and should, make. I ask my HP to give me wisdom to see whats right for me .
Kissers, you read my mind this week!!! I was just talking with an ex (NOT an A/Addict) boyfriend and he was talking about how he had found some photos he had taken of me from around 7 years ago (when we were dating) of when we were staying at a friends farmhouse for a weekend. OH! I recalled how desperately I wanted him to think I was attractive and how desperately I wanted him to love me- so intensely desperate I was to impress him at that time. I told him how I was glad that he reminded me of her and how I needed to walk up to her and give her a hug and tell her how much I loved her just as she was, that she did not need to use all the smoke and mirrors, etc. That she was terrific just as she was. Then hold her awhile and send her off into my past once and for all. he was really impressed. he said he needed to do something like that with the man who he was at that time, too. It was a nice point of sharing for both of us. We both have aged and grown up some since then. We were both trying so hard to impress each other and completely hiding our true selves. We were both trying to contort and people please to each other. Needless to say, we broke up a year after that and that is certainly NO SUPRISE because our authentic selves were never there to begin with!!! Now we are friends and its really great to just chat on the phone once in awhile. Thanks for posting about this Kissers, its really right on target for me right now. Hugs, J.
