Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?)  Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty.  I sat there thinking about just how bad my life really is and all the things that are going wrong in it. 
I looked at the reasons why I should feel soooo bad about life including the results of my inattention to reality that resulted in damaging someone's gate, almost cutting my thumb off with my own table saw and all the other "little" things that don't go my way without my participation in making them come out better or more acceptable.   I asked my Higher Power, "Why isn't there anyone, you included, around to enable me like I use to enable the alcoholic and of course I recalled that my enabling only made things much worse.  I wanted to be that little chubby Mayor on that old sitcom that use to be soooo self centered and irresponsible that when he thought something needed to be done about something he use to turn to his aides and just tritefully say, "Handle it, handle it" and walk off.  No participation on his/my part.  I did some justifications (not a ton of them just a couple) as to why negative stuff should not happen to ME even when I do all the necessary stuff to make that happen. I went over all the fears that come with holding myself responsible to my values, (you know those values that you want others to treat you with but when you're call to do it yourself and you are fearful, you don't want to participate with?)  

I have been in this program for a while so after the pity potty event I was pretty well straightened out.  The solutions were given to me long ago as was the wisdom that I get consequences for my choices and behaviors both positive and negative and my HP doesn't enable me by taking over my responsibilities. My HP enables me to have all the tools available to gain and maintain my peace of mind and serenity.   If I choose not to participate I get the consequences.  If I choose to participate I get consequences.   Like a former sponsor taught me, "Should you not choose what consequences you want before hand rather than leaving the outcome to luck and then doing the things necessary to get to that consequence?"    "Well yah I thought in response.  Everyone knows that!!" (Except little ole sarcastic, clueless me.)  

So I got to the meeting 13 minutes late.  I sat down, listened, learned, read the pages from the literature that was used to set the subject for discussion and feedback and then told on myself.  If I keep the secrets I get no support in finding solutions.  Meetings over.  I am facing the music (consequences) healing thumb and all.  Part of the solution holding myself responsible for "fixing" the consequences of my mistake in the way I would want it fixed for me.  That will amount to about $150 plus tax materially.  That will amount to about 215 pounds of humility and honesty.  Anearlier sponsor also taught me that "eating crow" is not bad if you first take off the feathers and dress it before you cook it.  Otherwise it taste just like chicken!  That will amount to practicing attention to where I am at, what I am doing and How I want it to come out.  I don't believe that there are a gazillion of spiritual entities out there flying around me trying to keep things out of my way and me from running into things I can avoid with my own effort and ability.  I don't have the "Handle it, handle it" power...only the ego.

The answer to my question of why can't I be enabled is, "How did it turn out for your alcoholic?"   Nuff said.

Mahalo for being here for me.  This works.......if you work it.

(((((hugs)))))