The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do, what type of man she would want to marry. Every man she dated loved her because she was so compatablile with them. Of course she was compatible, she liked everything they liked because she didn't know what she liked. She was a chameleon. I accepted jobs without negotiating for what I wanted and felt I had to twist myself into what they wanted. I settled for boyfriends who weren't able to give me what I wanted because I thought I was asking for too much and I thought it may be my last chance. I accepted bread crumbs when I wanted a slice of the loaf. Instead of saying no, I crumbled. I am my own worst enemy. Yuck, yuck, yuck. A friend of mine sent me a job posting recently. For the first time, I looked at the requirements and knew I would not be happy with a job like that. I thanked him and declined the offer. I felt a twinge bit of guilt for not applying since he was nice enough to send me the job posting, but I can't do that to myself anymore. Someone recently asked me out on a date and after talking to them, I realized that I would not be happy with someone who goes to strip clubs with their friends. If he chooses to do that, then that is his life but I don't have to bring it into my life.
Knowing what you want out of life and in your life sure is a lot easier then flailing around with the wind isn't it? It's the getting there that is a struggle. You're doing great :)
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I've been there, done that -- and married second time to dry A. Because my self-esteem was so low, I didn't think about what I might want. I could hardly believe that someone could care enough about me to want to marry me! Now I'm married to a dry A!
After Al-Anon, my self esteem grew and I began telling myself, "no more - no more - no more will I take abuse from anyone, any time."
I still have to watch it when someone of "authority" suggests what I should do. I tell them I have to think it over and not give an answer at the time. Later, I phone them or talk f-2-f and tell them "no I decided not to do that." No explanation needed
I can so relate to how I used to be - thanks for posting - I need to remember how far I've come especially on days that I forget! I like those movies, too.
"...I am my own worse enemy. yuck yuck yuck." Which one of the stooges used to chuckle like that? ((((Lisa))))...I loved that movie and I gravitate to Julia Roberts movies because she is soooo real life with humor. Your post gave me the willies because you used recovery words and phrases that I remember from when I was getting into recovery. They were descriptive and true and I was appalled at how my life had arrived at sickness and how I was the one person (knowingly and unknowingly) that was responsible. The miracle was arriving here with all those who came before me with their Experiences, Strength and Hope that they gave away so freely just like you did.
Again I am grateful. Changing colors to fit the scenery was fearfully hard work. Today I won't do it.
((((Lisa))))...I loved that movie and I gravitate to Julia Roberts movies because she is soooo real life with humor. Your post gave me the willies because you used recovery words and phrases that I remember from when I was getting into recovery. They were descriptive and true and I was appalled at how my life had arrived at sickness and how I was the one person (knowingly and unknowingly) that was responsible. The miracle was arriving here with all those who came before me with their Experiences, Strength and Hope that they gave away so freely just like you did. 