I have had a relationship with a friend of mine (he is an ex boyfriend) who has many addiction issues for over 7 years. During that time sometimes he has been there for me.  He gave me $500 earlier this year. At other times he has been incredibly controling and dismissive.  After letting the A go and having a lot of practice setting boundaries I'm now at a place where I can accept him the way he is. I no longer invite him to comment on my life. If he makes a comment I don't pcik up on it, I just say something like thank you for your prayers. I spent years and years trying to get him to see my point of view. He never did.  What a relief to give up trying to control him and make him be something he can't be.  I never did see this behavior as controlling on my part and now I do.

I spent much of the holiday around one of my neighbors who is incredibly controling.  She is exhausted most of the time and I can understand why. She is overinvolved with everyone and everything.  I can see how I got to the place I got with the A. Letting go is incredibly difficult. I want to fix, control,covince, obsess and then obsess some more.

Maresie.