After all the support that I have been receiving from you guys (thank you thank you thank you!!!!!), I mustered up enough strength to talk to my AH.  I told him that I was using this message board and would be trying very hard to work on understanding his addiction and behaviors and what would be some better ways to handle any incidents.  I told him that I really did want to try to make things work and that I wanted to be supportive in his recovery.  He was thankful.

Then, he ran to return something to a store but was gone for over two hours.  I noticed I had a voicemail on my phone and called my voicemail to check it out.  He had accidentally called me and I could hear his conversation with the lady at CVS about his phentramine prescription.  More meds.  He also got testosterone prescribed from a doctor because he feels weak.  He came back after 5:30 which is what time we needed to be at my parent's house for our New Year's dinner.

When he came back I asked him about why he was gone and told him that he had accidentally called me and left a voicemail about his conversation with the CVS pharmacist.  He got mad and accussed me of meddling and nagging and told me that he doesn't love me and I don't love him so we have until April to get things to where they are suppossed to be and if things are at a place that we don't like, then we are going to get a divorce.  Then we left to my parents house.  He was popping pills like crazy, he would go to the kitchen every 20 minutes to get water and my mom saw him take pills 3 times and I saw him take 6 pills twice.  This was all within less than two hours.  During the meal, he was falling asleep and falling over.  My mom told him to go home and get some rest and my brother agreed to drive me home.  AH left and went home (I think) and my family was concerned.  They don't know about his drug use, alcoholism, pill popping dependency, or troubles with the law.  Well, I should say that they didn't know because I finally talked to them about it tonight.  I cried and told them about his alcoholism and abuse of prescription medicine.  My brother's girlfriend is a RN studying to be a Nurse Practitioner and we talked about his med and how they interact and create chemical roller coasters that mess with the brain and cause behaviors.  I never told them anything because I thought that they would be mad at me for being involved with a person with his disease and be disappointed in me.  Familial pride is a big thing in an asian family.  But they support me every step of the way and asked me questions about my safety and showed me a lot of respect and love tonight.  It felt really wonderful to hear my mom, dad, brother, and my sister in law (my brother's girlfriend of 12 years whom I love dearly) say that they support any decisions I make.