The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ex has been calling and e-mailing me. I haven't answered any e-mails or calls. I won't do it anymore. One of his e-mails said he was worried about me. I wanted to believe it, but the reality is it is not true. I keep praying to God that he will seek help. I don't want to see anything bad happen to him. I wish him the best. But I must let go of him and the dream of what could have been. I saw my friend and her husband on New Years. They have their problems like everyone else, but they love, respect, and cherish each other. They laugh often, cry together, hug a lot, and help each other to grow. It's nice to see a healthy relationship. This is a new year with new beginnings. So, Let go and Let God because everytime I try to steer I get into an accident.
As someone who has just recently come out of a relationship with an A I completely understand how excruciating it is. Letting go is so so hard when all you want is for the person to be better. I am proud of you for not responding to his contact, i know how hard this is. You are doing an amazing job. I am starting this new year with new beginnings too.
I'm in it with both of you! Yes - new beginnings!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm looking forward to putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing for me. I cried a river of tears last night - "letting go" tears. Thank God I have a friend that loves me and stayed close to me emotionally last night. Letting go is so hard. Releasing someone you deeply care about is gut-wrenching. Trying to "understand" why you have to let them go is futile. There's no "understanding" this crazy mess.
So I've made a first step towards my next life. A life that begins in 2008. I've got some figuring out to do, cleaning out lots of emotional baggage. This year will be a year of growth. I'm so grateful for MIP. I'm not sure I could have done it without the ESH I've been given here.
I WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU CAN SEE PAST WHAT YOUR FEELINGS SAY AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEAD IS SAYING.
UNFORTUNATLEY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EVER DO THAT SO DON'T TAKE OFFENSE WHEN I SAY I AM VERY JEALOUS OF YOUR STRENGTH TO REFUSE HIM. I LOVE MY DRUNK HUSBAND VERY MUCH THOUGH HE IS SUCH AN @$$ WHEN HE IS DRNKING BUT WHEN HE IS SOBER HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOVING. kEEP LISTENING TO YOUR HEAD. IT IS A NEW YEAR.
