The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
First, thank you so much to all who replied to my last two posts. It was tremendous support and encouragement through this holiday period. Dealing with kids leaving the nest more & more plus teens while working al anon program has me in an emotional ball of energy at times exagerated by the holiday activities. I am exausted emotionally and physically but still holding on one day at a time rather than isolating myself and withdrawing into sadness or feeling abandoned. ((((((((((MIP family))))))))
Second, I am working on step two and couldn't find any help on my question on the step board so though I'd ask here. It's like I know there is probably a simple answer but I just can't wrap my head around this question. Do any of you have an example that could help me figgure out how this could be compared.
Question: How has the alcoholic become my HP?
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
WE are sick because we allow the disease to keep us in its hands, it is what controls our life.
As we get well, we start putting our lives in HPs hands. We learn not to allow the disease have any control over us as it hangs onto our loved one or ones.
In one of our books it sayd...the alcoholic is obsess3ed with the alcohol and We are obsessed with teh alcohlic.
Maybe that is hwat you are trying to figure out.
We try to figure THEM out. We try to control their agions. We try to convince them what they shoudl or should not be doing. We do all of these things and they rarely help one bit. So the obsession with TRYING all the tim may be what you are thinking.
Hi ddub, I can relate to your question as this is perhaps the greatest lesson of all for me.... I made my AH (and others) my HP by giving him soooo much power in my life. I made him such an important "god" in my life. I believed he was smarter and better in EVERY WAY than I was, (discounting my own personal power and certainly discounting the fact that I had a Source to turn to, who will give me everything I need.) So for years, I let my husband guide, control and dictate my life. Eventually, with the help of my sponsor, I began to see this. She taught me to give this kind of power to a more trustworthy, dependable, and loving God. A power greater than myself... greater than my husband.... and greater than the disease of alcoholism. Imagine that.
Today, I start my day acknowledging a true HP. And I am slowly being restored to sanity. Praise HP!!
I hope this helps.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
ddub, this is a great question and these are such great responses! Thank you for bringing your question here, its been really helpful for me to read, too. I do not have any answers to that question but I feel that yes, my A is in my life for a reason and that reason is connected to me connecting to my HP. I am only 16 months into the program so I am clueless about many things but this is really an insightful question and these are really insightful responses! J.
I like and relate to gladlee's response and that is pretty much what I did and how most of the other AFG members I grew up with also related to. Words like devotion to, adored, worshiped and center importance are part of my memory including thinking and feeling that my alcoholic would be the cause of my happiness and fulfillment. I ditched the God of my understanding and abandoned prayer and meditation because I was way tooooo busy fixated on the alcoholic and her happiness and how she made me look and how she appeared to others. If I had paid as much attention and invested as much effort in my relationship with my Higher Power I would not have strayed so far from sanity. I later was taught that there was only one person that I could go to in love and receive more love in return each and every time and that was not my alcoholic. The only source of continued unconditional love and happiness was with my HP. I found that to be true and since have not abandoned that belief. HP first, me next and all others after I have learned what it is to love myself.
This makes a lot more sense to me now. Great responses and yup, I can really see how I did this now. Gave my power away to the A and too busy keeping everything going so neglected myself and my hp. It becomes backwards to a healthy way to live...... goes hand in hand that it is crazy and it is very hard to be sane when you live in insanity. Hugs to all, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Imagine that.