The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hope you all had a "quiet" and "happy" Christmas, and are still feeling the "serenity" of the season.
I've not been on here for a while, I still keep in touch with the board, and watch whats going on. Today I wanted you all to share in something with me.
Well, for the last ten weeks I had been in contact with a lovely guy in "Iraq". We have shared telephone calls, texts, but mostly msn chat online "EVERY DAY". We had planned to meet up, and do things together. It was all "fantasy" online, we "clicked" from the moment go. Anyway his leave was meant to be Feb, then Jan, then Dec...OMG.. He was gonna be home for christmas.lol
So, the last week was horrendous, I was getting all "impatient", "excited" "obsessed"..lol The he got held back travelling, the usual, I was a "nutcase"..
Anyway, I had been doing my "utmost" to ruin things between us, and "NOTHING" chased this guy away. I couldn't believe it..I was being totally "Insecure" and he stayed with it...
He came to meet me on Christmas night, Of all the places he could have been, he "chose" to be with me. We met in a "garage"..lol He got lost. I got out the car, he was smiling at me, walked over to me, cuddled me, gave me a small kiss, It was "like the movies"..lol We just stood looking at achother smiling, he played with my hair, looking right into my eyes.. We then went back to my house, chatted, watched a movie, etc. We wen't out at midnight for a drive..lol Came home, watched movies again, then went to bed. We were snuggled up together all night, I felt him "twitch" but he kept his arms round me the whole night. For him, that must have been different (being in Iraq)..
We talked on christmas night about what we both wanted, we had "fantasised" online, maybe made it sound like we would have a relationship. But he said to me, he didn't think he was ready for one. I said I didn't think I was either. So, I said to him, well, you are home, we can spend some time together IF you want, no promises, have fun, and when you go back see what happens IF we want to keep in touch. (he only has 2 weeks home). When he was leaving we stood staring at eachother again, smiling..lol He took me in his arms, held me tight, and we stood like that (seemed like forever..lol) He kissed me, and smiled at me. I said to him, ok, well, I stop in a few days, for 2 weeks holiday, IF you would like us to spend some more time together, call me, I wont text you. (need him to know i was NOT chasing him)..He said "Yeah ok we will see how we go". As he walked away from he, he kept looking over his shoulder at me, smiling, as he drove out the street, he tooted the horn, and waved at me.
OK...WHAT would Ally normally do now????? Text him, cry, get depressed, lol
What is Ally doing NOW...She has learned a lesson... She almost blew something before it even began by being, "controlling and demanding" and she knows this guy does NOT need this crap!!!
SO, all I can do is "let go and Let god. If he liked me and wants to spend more time with me, he will come back. Its hard to sit and wait, But I only have this one choice right now..
I just wanted to share this small story with you all. I believed I was worthless of any man, And this man told me I was "lovely" and all the men who tell me this might actually be telling me the "TRUTH"....lol
I have never had a christmas like this before. Someone who I could share it with. My christmas wish came true this year. against all the odds of My state of mind, and him living one day at a time, in a "warzone", we DID get together and it was lovely, and very "special" for us both.... NOW, I have to keep on moving day to day and IF he comes back IT will be a "bonus" for us....His lifestyle is so far away from mine, and I cannot affort to mess his head up with my "pre-alanon" behavours....
Wishing you ALL a Brilliant, safe and happy "NEW YEAR"..
MERRY CHRISTMAS! That was a lovely way to spend Christmas. See you are getting better. You are certainly worthy of love as we all are. Pipers and I are keeping our fingers, toes and tail (hers ) that all will be well with you two. At the very least, you have a treasured memory and perhaps a sweet friend. Glad to see you smiling face here. Much love and blessings to you and yours. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Live strong, Karilynn & Piper Claus
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
) that all will be well with you two. At the very least, you have a treasured memory and perhaps a sweet friend. Glad to see you smiling face here. Much love and blessings to you and yours. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 
