I feel uncomfortable and I have a choice to feel worse or try to feel better.  Maybe this place is rubbing off on me (hooray!! ) but I guess gratitude helps?

College kids on break are even more independent and have less time for me so I am thankful they are growing & going plus maybe not so worried about me.

The plans to return to school sooner, less guilt to participate with family board games etc are also healthy typical college age things I am grateful to see.

When everyone was busy, I am grateful I could enjoy the winter wonderland by taking a half hour walk followed by a relaxing bath.

When family planning happened and college kids acted like what I said made no sense, I stated I was talking to and about their brother and that I was making sense.  I didn't need them to gang up on me and yes, we can go on with the planning because everyone was not getting ticked off already.  I am grateful that I can stand up to them, state opinion calmly to show things are changing for the better.

When I asked to make a suggestion, the family listened and actually are using my idea by their choice without feeling controlled or made to do something by me over selling it.  Also, I said the kids should make this plan be what they want it to be so that I don't have to plan it and therefore won't control it or be an open target for blame.  (Love to abolish the blame game around here!)  I am grateful I have learned more about seeing what happens.

When everyone went their separate ways, I tried to attend a f2f meeting late but it must have been cancelled.  So I did a couple errands and felt like I had the freedom to do what I wanted to do rather than be available in case I was needed.  I am thankful I found I could go and try to attend f2f plus came up with something to do without feeling like I needed to orchestrate something for the family besides everyone doing their own thing alone.

Youngest child, no longer wants to be tucked in or read to and independent teen also doesn't seem to need me as much which are also good signs that the family is getting healthier I think, which I celebrate with thanks and try to remember this is a stage that is good.  I am thankful that I am learning how to deattach from AH and maybe everyone disregards any of his antics better too.

I am grateful for the good times over the holidays that have happened and though it seems calmer to me, I can recognise the kids are making automatic assumptions that things will go bad like before.......... it seems better, not like before so I am grateful for that and hopeful that it will seem better to all.

I am grateful that when AH differs with how I do things, I can listen and not react.  There is less conflict and find that I don't need to fix things.  If he wants to change things, he can.  I just wait to see what happens.

It is harder to see that things are better for the family when so many members are becoming so much more independent but by writing this gratitude list, I am beginning to see that this may be a healthier result.  It is time to let the butterflys (there is a poem about the butterflies but I mean my kids) go and if it is meant to be, they will return and I think if they leave when there is less conflict, there is better chances they will return more.  For this I am especially grateful that the kids may leave with a sense of hope that things are getting better.

As I feel more left with the AH and all that entails, I am grateful that I am stronger and not so afraid or hopeless about a life of nothing.  I can make this a good life for me, I can have fun and be good to myself.  I have learned alot and have more to learn and even more actions to get started on as the kids require less and less of me.

I am so very grateful for all the energy, strength and hope I have recieved from al anon and this MIP family, both mentally and physically.  I actually have more physical energy to keep going and hope, sweet hope ....... when I started I had none.  I miss the closer relationship with my kids that we had to deal with the A, like folks do, to deal with any crisis from hurricanes, winter storms, illness but I see this is so much healthier for all of us to work on our own recovery and that includes the A, to do what he needs to do, how & when as he chooses.

Being grateful has helped me to feel better, kind of a quiet, peaceful kind of better and loads better than feeling worse and sad about all this.  Thanks for listening.

ddub