The material presented
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to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to share this. You guys know where I am. I was leaning over hugging one of my fat hairy cats and it came to me.
What I need is to be hugged by someone, and feel for that moment I don't have to do anything. I can cry and relax, and let it out.
It being the pain, the memories, the hell of it all. Just be with that loved one, trusting them to just hold me for that few seconds and know I need them to let me go slack.
Sort of an hp you can touch. Like ya felt in grampas lap or when your husband held you and said,"really it will be ok."
My whole self is so tired. I remember grama in her deathbed 106 saying she was so tired. She was not in pain, just wore out.
Yes, I can definitely relate. That's why my f2f meetings are so important to me because I can get hugs and know they are truly out of love.
I am single, with a 19 year old daughter at home, and there are times when I miss having another adult here, someone to just hug me and tell me it's okay. It isn't that my daughter and I don't hug, because we do. It's just different having a significant other for hugs.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
I too can relate, debilyn. When living with active alcoholism in my home or not, I have felt this way. I agree with tenderhearts. When I needed them most, I got the loving contact I needed from my face to face meetings.
Sending you a big {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BEAR}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hug.
I am sorry I can't hug you in person. Just last night when being hugged by my ah, I thought "ahh, this feels so good", and that was just based on the action and not security or emotions behind it. Yes, hugs are powerful and I am sorry you don't have anyone to hug you right now.
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
(((((((Debilyn)))))) I know EXACTLY how you feel. Just this morning, I was thinking the exact same thing. I thought to myself what I wouldn't give to have someone to just hug me and hold me if just for a moment and tell me that it was all going to be alright. Just for a moment. I've decided that in the new year, I will find a f2f meeting where I feel at home. I miss that human contact. This board is fabulous, but there's definitely something to be said for "skin" contact. I realize how much I've missed that. And like tenderheartsks, I have a grown (21) year old child at home a good bit, and those hugs are awesome, but there's something to be said for being hugged by someone who isn't under the illusion that you've got it all figured out! lol Debilyn, you have given me an incredible amount of support and hope, and oh how I wish I were there to give you a hug. Know that you're in my thoughts. Sending you cyberhugs!!! ~Round3
I grew up in a family that did not hug much. And anytime there was a hug it was uncomfortable for me, done self consciously.
When I got married changed somewhat for me. Her I could hug, unabashedly. But she was still about the only person I could do that with, and then even with her after the alcoholism started robbing us, even those hugs became "unnatural" and forced and eventually ended.
Then along comes al-anon!
I hug just about everyone now!
I have been hugging and getting the stuffing hugged out of me over these holidays. It certainly is something I do not take for granted, that I am blessed to be able to have that contact with people...because I can remember when I didn't have it, even when there were people all around me..just beggin for a hug!
There is something just so fundamentally good about embracing another human being with no expectation of anything. Just two people sharing the healing power of a human touch with each other.
I will add my name to the list of "wishers", that wish they could be there to offer you a hug my friend....but I am visualizing in my mind's eye wrapping my arms around you.... with a deep breath and a sigh... and a whispered..."everything IS going to be allright, Debilyn. God loves you and so do all of your friends here."
Boy o boy (((((((((((((((((Debilyn))))))))))))))))))))
Don't I know how you feel? I cannot remember the last time that I had anyone physically hug me, and I am a very huggy person. It feels like strangulation without a hug and I do not get better at accepting my situation without shouting at God for not bringing someone physically to me to give me a hug. Then I remember He loves me and I start to feel that awesome hug of eternal love. (Just my way of coping with my situation.)
If I were able I would run right over, as I have said before, and give you one
H U G E W A R M L O V I N G H U G,
that went on for as long as you wanted it too, and until you really felt you had been hugged.
Instead the best I can do is send it to you via this message, all wrapped up in perfume and soft cashmere wool (not that I have any cashmere - you just have to imagine that part too - lol) and accompany it with a steaming mug of hot chocolate (or a soothing cup of Lady Grey tea) and a real big crumbly English shortbread biscuit.
HB - yours living with a distinct lack of physical hugging...lol...boo hoo.
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Debilyn I can SO relate. I hardly was ever touched or held as a baby/child and human touch is so important to me. This is why massage therapy is not just a luxury, it is as essential as food for me. I crave human touch and hugs. I, too, have no human in my life to hug me except those in my al anon program. J.
I can relate also. I know you are limited as to getting to meetings where you will feel the human touch. Your beautiful animals can help. Sometimes I would lay down next to my dog and just rub her back. She and I both found solace in that.
Is there any way, you can get some nursing assistance where a visiting nurse could touch base with you once or twice a week???? Call your town, the Board of Health, they might have services for you. It can't hurt to ask.
In the meantime, here's my cyber (((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Deb,
Love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Being a severely under-hugged human, myself... I remember reading many years ago, for humans to be healthy and emotionally balanced we need about 8 hugs a day ( a real genuine hug of love). It said for transforming our lives we need at least 12 a day.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I can relate deeply to feelings of isolation. I made a new friend online and she just disappeared. I reach out and most of the time I don't get that far. I am far far more choosy about who I hang around with these days and some days I think I don't make too much of an effort. I let go much much more if there are any kind of substances out there. I dont' judge but I also don't pursue anyone who has a substance issue.
I know it is hard to be alone. There are days when I would love to have a friend to be with. There are other days when I manage.
