My grandfather died this month several years ago. He was always working and drinking with his friends. I didn't see him much and he left my grandmother with 3 children to raise on her own with no monetary help. He remarried and I remember flying out to visit them. I couldn't understand why my stepgrandmother was so angry all the time. It wasn't until I got into Alanon that I understood and recognized the disease in their home. My grandfather wound up getting cancer and the prognosis was poor. He was always very stoic and distant. I wanted so badly as a child to be close to him, but it never seemed possible. The last time I visited him, I was at the end of my stay and was getting ready to leave to go to the airport. The look in his eyes said it all. He knew he was going to die and that he realized what was important. It is so sad that it took his deathbed to realize what was most important.