The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Please accept my sincere apologies, it was never my intention to cause dissension or disharmony within this valued 'family'. I am deeply distressed to think that I have done so quite inadvertantly.
I am sorry too if my reaction and responses were inappropriate.
Having lived with a great deal of repression I am aware that perhaps I acted badly and I am hurting a great deal from this unexpected altercation.
I possess a great deal of tolerance however I realise that I still react to personal repression in any form unhealthily, and that is what it felt like at the time.
Never would I knowingly seek to exclude anyone, or want to make anyone uncomfortable in any way.
I am truly sorry and ask your forgiveness in this matter.
With that in mind I have removed the source reference from my signature and simply left it anonomous so that it remains 'label free' and does not contravene the 'house rules'.
Heartbroken However, I feel very shaken by this experience
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Hon I don't even know what came about, but feel saddened by you feeling hurt. I used to be shaken by stuff on the internet. Then I realized how easy it is to take things more serious than they are.
If we were face to face most things that happen would surely be taken totally differently.
geez HB I even got into it with John before!! Thank goodness he was patient with me and was willing to explain things.
Once I was writing about love and with out going into explanation someone questioned it being appropriate.
I know AA ,Al anon and all don't go by one belief or the other. We are all very different when it comes to our beliefs. It is my opinion in about anything we say, that we own it.
Meaning we say, in my belief....whatever. or in this book it says.....Not, the truth is .... or saying it is ONE way as fact.
Hope I am making sense.
Probably making a fool of myself becuz I really don't know what made ya feel so bad. I have always loved your posts.
I am sure way over half of us don't know what you are talking about either. We have enough pain with out getting it from here. many of us are so broken, hurt, scattered, disjointed, confused and oblivious... that would be me....as it is.
please accept this major hug from me. Been here more years than most. Abbyal and I have tormented each other for eight years now.....give or take a day or something.
Families have misunderstandings, we protect each other, we tell each other when we believe on or the othe is out of line. But we all have this special al anon love. for me,in MY experience, love is forgiving, does not keep account of injury and more.
HB I can empathize, though I am not sure exactly what happened. I once visited another board and was actually admonished for sharing my feelings- was told they were "shaming to the group." My post was about my attachment to what was later referred to as a "junkie." Though this ultimately led me to this site and I am so grateful- I was very hurt by it as it only reinforced my total inappropriateness even among those with acknowleged "parental issues." I walked away more insecure than when I found the site. Please know that even though I am so new to this site- your posts are a source of comfort to me. Please accept the comfort I am now sending your way. :)
I just wish I could give you a real live hug. I don't know what it is that was supposed to have been offensive but I personally have never been offended by any of your posts.
To the contrary, you have always been encouraging in your posts. I agree with Debilyn, I am sure that most of us don't have any idea what it was.
At any rate now it is my turn to encourage you. I wish for your tomorrow to be a better day than today. You are a beautiful person with a lot of compassion for others.
Take care of you.
Love and Blessings,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
I hate to admit it, but I never even noticed your signature before this all came up--I couldn't tell you what anyone's signature looks like!! I guess I am too focused on the the actual posts!!
Please know that you are welcome here and in Al-Anon. It is a wonderfully accepting and loving program and I hope that you find in it the support that you need. Please go to a F2F meeting in your area--while this board can be very helpful (especially to those who cannot get to a F2F meeting for whatever reason), there is nothing like being in a room full of women (and sometimes men) who laugh and cry with you as you share what is in your heart because they have lived it too.
Keep coming back, it works if you work it!!
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
I can't quite figure out what you mean either. If someone has brought up something spacificalyy to you then do what youneed to, but if not then maybe you are second guessing yourself. I know I used to do that a lot. Every time I interacted with people, I would grill myself after about how I acted... Did I offend someone? stay too long? act wrong? I was so confused. I am learning how to let others be responsible for letting me know if there is a problem that I am not aware of.
Also, remember that though we all try to be tolerant, none of us would be here if we were all perfectly healthy in our interactions with others.
I guess what I mean by all this is that I have never found your posts anything but considerate and understanding. You are always a source of support and hope. Your experiences are valuable to this group.
Love in recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I don't know what you specifically are talking about either. Nevertheless I've had my own share of being "inappropriate" at various times in many many areas of my life. All I can say is I admire your honesty and willingness I have not always had them.
Good luck in your quest for change I think it takes immense courage to be willing to change behavior. Maresie
Thank you everyone; those who responded to my deleted post will know what I am referring to in full. However, I do not know who or how many of you responded to it or read it and that is why I posted this apology, but it seems it may have caused some dissension among the family, which is NOT good. All because of a misunderstanding, between two people.
Your responses have been of immeasurable comfort and encouragement to me; whilst I am amazed that my posts have been received with appreciation by so many.
One thing that I have read on this board that has struck me deeply is about change in self: 'Let it begin with me.' and I only wish I could remember who wrote that.
With that in mind I am trying to change me as regards to not being allowed full expression of me, and I am grateful for all of you including the person who challenged me in the first place. Thank you for that challenge, I am most grateful for it has enlightened an area in my 'illness' that needs to be healed.
I do not want to say more, I simply want to close this chapter. Love, Heartbroken.
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
I guess I am too focused on the the actual posts!!