The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Guess he's feeling a bit threatened about my distancing. I get a call and he's all sweet, apologizing again for being an ass and wants to know if I want to make a deal. His offer was that he'd stay sober all work week if I would allow him to drink what he wants on his days off. What?! I simply stated I'm not interesting in bargaining about his drinking habit. If he wants to get sober he knows where to get help and then said I had to go. I sense he's getting a bit desperate
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If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck - it's a freakin duck and no amount of wishing in the universe is going to change it into a swan
good one, L2R, good one. He has got to want it and see that he needs it (just like we do when we head into al-anon). Its not about you in any way shape or form. Its about him. Nice work! J.
No deal can ever be made - they just cannot stick to it. My ex AH promised he would quit drinking altogether if I would just move home. I said the same as you - NO. I said you quit drinking, and stay quit for a few months straight, and then, maybe then I will consider it.
My marriage was damaged way beyond just what the alcohol did to it, and therefore was never really salvagable. I never once had the urge to go back. One day I made the decision, and I did it - I left. Nothing he did or said would have ever made me come back.
Wow, my immediate response is "This isn't "Let's Make A Deal" ........followed by ...I'm not your parent, your HP, nor your guardian, why ask me for permission to encourage unacceptable behavior ? Third thought, time to set boundaries for all involved.
Just some reality checks that help me stay focused !
