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Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to everybody he knew. And now I am getting my revenge on him by getting pregnant and this and that. I never even heard of the place where this supposedly happened and I know I never met him before. But for some reason I would think.....maybe I did meet him once.....No I know I didn't! I would have remembered meeting him. (He has a very memorable personality)
Hmmm, well, they like to make you feel crazy so that you cling to them...sounds like this one has a lot of stuff going on...please work on taking care of yourself and your baby. Put the two of you first and foremost in your mind, leave him to God.
They like to feel powerful. They like to generate drama. Both of this feeds into crazy-making. Please consider attending face to face al-anon meetings in your area. Good luck, J.
I can relate to this very much and have often thought that I was going mad. The paranoia seems to take over the reasoning without any help from me even when I was totally convinced that what was being suggested was totally false.
The mind games were very distressing for me and I hate/d anyone doing that to me. Luckily I recognise mind games better now and realise the power mind games can have over me if I let them.
My experience was that my AH had such a presence and was so over-powering and commanding that I shrank in his presence and so the mind games were easily played on me to keep me in check and under control...HIS control...not mine.
Once I recognised this I found I could recognise the game being played and then I would pray for serenity, peace, calm and truth.
You will find many others can relate to this situation too.
Thank you for reminding me of this too.
((((dgm)))) Love the picture. Heartbroken
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
I need to be in a place where I allow myself to think I am going crazy (and that this person has the ability to make me feel this way) if I am going to "go there". How do I get to that place? How to I allow myself to get to that place? What are the steps? What are the red flags to signal me to get myself out of that kind of situation? I am capable of making good decisions and having good judgement. Why do I think its OK to spend time with people who like to play the mindf**k games? Why would I want to expend a moment of my precious life energy/force with someone who thinks/believes this is a good way to conduct themselves? There is no one in the entire universe like me. I am unique. There are plenty of kind people around, good people who like me for who I am. I am going to focus on the goodness around me, not on the negativity.
When I even get a glimmer of feeling like I am losing my mind I know its time for me to NOT BE AROUND ANY ALKIES. Time for me to take a break and only spend time with non alkies, go to more meetings and turn the focus back onto MYSELF.
