The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello all! I haven't posted ina long time, but often read the posts. AH's drinking is getting worse. He has been in a lot of pain lately in his stomach area. He thinks it might be an ulcer. Doesn't alcohol make it worse? He seemd to be losing a tremendous amount of weight, yet he eats quite a bit and doesn't exercise. He just really looks bad. He looks very pale and I even think he suffereing from depresion. He refuses to see a doctor...I guess he's afraid to know the truth. He drinks vodka every night to the point he passes out.
I am so over it. When he gets like that, I just ignore him. I have finally realized that it really is HIS problem and not mine. His family won't help, he doesn't want to listen to me, so he's on his own.
yep, alcohol makes ulcers worse. So does coffee and cigs, sugar, all kinds of things. Drinking aloe vera juice helps like using aloe vera on a burn. His stools will be black if he is bleeding internally. There is nothing you can do but leave him to his HP. Good luck, J.
Thanks. Along with the vodka he chews tabacco all day, takes caffiene pills to supress his apetite (they are the kind the body builders take. He thinks he is a body builder...no way near it) Thanks again!
You do have options. You do not need to watch him go down, I know how incredibly painful that is. I hope that you have a F2F group that you can attend. You are in my throughts and prayers and keep coming back here to where you will find unconditional support regardless of your mood or feelings. Hugs, J.
Honey it could very well be his liver. Sadly what you are describing sounds like it.
Nothing we can do for him but love him. Ignore the disease and love the man.
Also build you up as best you can. Still do fun things, go see others.
I hope I do get to take care of my AH when he finally is dieing. A dear lady in England who used to be on here, stayed with hers no matter what. His last few days he did not drink. She said she was given a gift to have him back again for a tiny bit.
She was always an inspiration to me.
It is such hard stuff, horrible. Gotta send ya a hug and lotsa love,debilyn
I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and praying for you and your AH. I am sorry he seems to be in bad shape. I just hope you can love him and have compassion and pray for him, surrender him to his (and your) HP. That was the best thing I did when my husband was actively drinking. I just finally threw up my hands, got on my knees and totally gave him to God. I just couldn't do anything else. It is so hard not to worry, especially when it begins to affect their health. God bless you and hang in there... and please reach out when you need a hand, there are people everywhere that seem to say just the right thing when you are hurting and feeling so alone.
"I am so over it. When he gets like that, I just ignore him. I have finally realized that it really is HIS problem and not mine. His family won't help, he doesn't want to listen to me, so he's on his own." Aloha Desperate...You are near your bottom and the best opportunity for change. Someone suggested face to face Al-Anon meetings. That is the suggestion that saved my life when I was close to being where you are at now.
You are right...it really is HIS problem and not yours and if you have one tenth of an ounce of compassion you will still feel the pain. Thats where the meetings come in for you.
He might be suffering from a whole lot of alcohol related problems or none and the only straight answer he will get is from his doctor. If he fails to go he fails to get the answer. If he goes and gets the answer it is still his responsibility to follow thru on his doctors suggestions. In the definition of alcoholism that we use to read at every meeting when I started in Al-Anon it was said that, "the alcoholic had but three choices sobriety, insanity or death." By the way those three choises are similar to ours. Serenity if we get into the program, insanity or death as a consequence from the disease. I have experience sobriety, serenity, insanity (before getting into recovery) and watched many people affected by this disease die as a result whether drinker or not.
There is a chair waiting for you at a meeting in your area. Go get it and sit all the way down and listen, learn and practice, practice, practice the program that has saved soooo many lives.
Of course keep coming back here. There is so much shared recovery experience in the posts at Miracles in progress. I am glad you came and I pray you keep coming back.
Your alcoholic is not alone and will not realize it until he switches Higher Powers. I know of one that is more powerful than Vodka but he's got to go find AA to find that HP.
My ex AH should be getting out of the hospital today. He ended up there due to a bleeding ulcer. He needed 4 units of blood to get his levels back to where they should be.
On top of that he has liver problems, his eyes and skin are routinely some shade of yellow. He refused to go and have the blood tests months ago when his sister forced him to go to the doctor, but once in the hospital he couldnt avoid it. The doctor told him that he HAD to quit drinking or it would kill him for sure.
According to the ex's sister, this made an impression on him, and he is saying he is going to quit drinking. I really hope he can get it together, and keep it together. I dont want to be cruel, but I will honestly say that I am not going to hold my breath.
We have 2 kids together, and he has 2 kids with his first wife. They need their dad. But he is in a tough spot, his brother is also an active A and is pissed right off that he wants to avoid alcohol at all costs.
My ex AH is the one who has to make the effort, lord knows my trying to do it for him never worked. I worry for my kids sake, but I cant do anything about his behavior. I think that is the best lesson I have learned with this whole situation.
