The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. I can't say I'm happy to be joining a board such as this, but am glad to know there are kind and supportive people to help me through this part of my life.
I'm going to post two topics. This will be a little about me and my history to how I got to where I am today.
My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up and watched my grandmother "take care" of him. My father is an alcoholic. I still watch my mom "take care" of my dad. To me, neither of these men have been bad to me. Yes, there are problems, but nothing like some of the stories that I have read. My dad goes to work everyday to a job he's had for 37 years. He gives my mom anything she wants. He doesn't drink and drive. He doesn't keep a lot of promises, but I learned to talk to him when he was sober. Just have to catch him at the right time. They were both very good men with a very bad problem.
I think my history of women in my life dealing with alcoholics (or alcholic men in my life, however you would like to see it), along with other issues I have of my own, set the stage for me to have two significant relationships with alcoholic men.
The first was my husband of ten years. He drank a case of beer a day at a minimum. He also has a serious personality disorder that made things pretty bad. There was abuse of each kind in that relationship. After we had a child together, and she witnessed an episode of physical abuse, I woke up and got out. The divorce was long and scary, but I made it through and he has now moved on to his next victim. I was part of a support group during that time that helped me stay strong and also taught me a lot about myself. Many of the issues I had that allowed me to stay in that relationship for so long were resolved. It wasn't easy taking such a hard look at myself, but I am so much better for it. I haven't been this strong in 20 years.
I wasn't interested in having any type of relationship when a man came into my life that I really enjoyed. Enter alcoholic number 2. He will be the topic of my next post, because that is what I am having problems with today.
Hi and welcome to MIP. Come back often. There is always someone here able and willing to listen. I send you best holiday wishes from the great city of San Antonio,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Hi thanks for sharing. I too have had multiple A relationships and always joked that my picker was broken. I look forward to hearing about #2. I hope you are putting yourself first and taking good care of yourself.
