The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I used to spend a lot of time arguing with the A. I would do that a lot at Christmas. He always went to his mother's for most of the day and I felt left out. I did not have a program then.
I live in a house with lots of dysfuncitonal people, Christmas is a day they act out. I plan to be out of here at a movie. I have a movie picked out. I will not go that route. I really do want to practice not being caught up in someone else's misery and addiction. I hope I can do it.
I have a whole list. I got roped into dysfunction on Thanksgiving. I am not going there again. I absolutely did not practice this when I was with the A. We always argued, day in day out. I would try but I would inevitably get roped in again. The people in my house (and god knows why the landlord lets them stay I can't even enision why) will be "at it" its a guarantee. I do not have to be there to witness participate or even acknowledge it. Maresie.
I used to argue with my AH a lot, too. But he would become furious if I agreed with him, too. It did not matter because everything was an arguement for him regardless of whether I agreed or disagreed or ignored what he said. I have come to realize that he is constantly fighting inside of himself and arguing with himself inside. It makes absolutely no difference what I say or do on the outside. He has his own dialogue going on that has nothing to do with me.
The more I realize that his behavior is all about him and really nothing at all to do with me, the better I get. Whether he is drinking or not he is still sick and not in recovery. This is why, in a way, the drinking part is a red herring. It doesnt matter at all- its all the behaviors that are in place and will never go away, this is why it is called a disease.
the issue for me is that I have developed my own dysfunctional behaviors that I have to interupt all the time. Regardless of whether I am with the alcoholic I can go into them and be lost in a second. That's one reason I have to plan ahead and be so vigilant. Maresie.
