The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference from him(the AA). He seems to think that we are just an extention of his AA group and under some kind of authority of his. He will not help us get a key to the building, so that meetings take place if he is not there. He says he will give it to another A. He wants to have joint business meetings every month. He says if we cannot pay rent AA has to make it up and seems to want to use that to hold over us, though I can't imagine not being able to pay $10 a month. He seems to be spreading an attitude that our Alanon meeting is just a ladys club or some such. I have seen our AA meetings on other nights have as many as two dozen attending, but none of their families come to our Alanon meetings.
I am at a loss as to how to deal with this. I am trying hard to place principles before personalities here. I do not blame him so much for these manipulations. I understand he is human and sick even if he has long term sobriety (20+ years). Its just that our group is about to dry up and blow away. Apparently this has happened before here.
I don't even know who we are supposed to pay our rent to. He says give it to him, and he'll get it to the church.
My questions... Is anything he says justified? Am I just over-sensitive? Should I just call or visit the pastor and make contact with the church myself?
I am trying hard not to be overreacting to the manipulations of this A, as it feels awfully like the old craziness again, but I don't want to give up on this meeting.
Any ESH would be appreciated. Pm me if you think this is off topic or will flame. I don't want to start a riot.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I second what storeclerk is saying. I work for a church where we hold the meetings and absolutely give a key to both groups and take separate payments. He's giving you the runaround - go directly to the church.
Yes, go to the church. You might want to hold a business meeting beforehand, so you are not really taking matters in your own hands, but working on behalf of the group. I also belong to a very small group, and the way we do business meetings (not very often, alas) is to announce for a couple of meetings that we will be holding one at such and such a time (usually after the end of month meeting). Then, no matter how many or who show up, they are the ones that make the decisions.
If he does confront you in any way about this, you can cite the 7th tradition - to an alanon group, AA is an "outside contribution" and must be declined.
I knew I was just too close to this problem and missing something obvious. Of course the 7th tradition applies here. Thank you all for helping me clarify this. I am really the only consistent member in our small group, but I will call some of the others and get a consensus, then go visit the pastor of the church. The couple of people at last nights meeting were already figuring that way when we spoke of it.
Again, thank you.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
My questions... Is anything he says justified? Am I just over-sensitive? Should I just call or visit the pastor and make contact with the church myself?
, but I don't want to give up on this meeting.