Hi everyone, I hope you are all well

I haven't been here in so long, in fact I haven't even been to many f2f meetings, too much has been going on and changing. But I have been holding on to my thoughts and readings and prayers.

My divorce will be final December 12th. I finally did it! It has been 10 months of a livig hell.
My AH has rewritten history, according to him he has always done his best to support this family, his drinking has never been a problem and of course this is all my fault.
He has tried to manipulate the courts, the schools and of course the kids. For a while I thought I was going to lose it, he appears like the "boy next door" and he almost had their sympathy. After time though, people have started to see his true colors, the people who count know what this family has been through and have supported us.
Saturday the kids and I will be moving into a new home that we love. I have taken my own name back, I am getting a better job and we are getting a fresh start.
He is angry and so is Mommy, they are doing everything possible to try and make me miserable and they can't. They have no more power over me!
I have found out in the past few months what wonderful friends I have and what wonderful parents I have. I always knew how great my kids are.
This chapter of my life is finally ending and after all I've been through I have no where to go but up.
It was funny, we where looking at a house we fell in love with. He pulled some things in court and we lost the house. We where so upset, but we started looking again, we where on a time clock, because we wanted to move before the holidays. We wanted Christmas in a new place together, and we wanted to start the new year fresh. We found another one and thought it would work, it didn't and we again let go. We thought all our plans would fall through for the new year, and that morning the realtor called from the original house we thought we'd lost. Their other deal had fallen through and we ended up working something out. We let go and HP led us back to where we belong.
I feel like one of thos blow up clowns that kids can punch down, he kept knocking me down, but I kept popping back up.
The courts have issued a no drinking clause when he has the kids in his visitation and if he does break it, he will be in contempt. So at least I have some small protection in place for the kids. Sadly my 10 year old knows if he smells or sees alcohol on his father he must call 911. The courts have turned him into the "booze police". But it is the only way to keep them safe.
This past year I have been so tired and so sick, I lost 30 lbs worrying, but I finally feel better and can eat again.
The kids are all doing great, I feel and look better than I have in years. I don't know how we will manage, but the way I see it, is that I have been working hard with this drunken albatros around my neck for so many years and kept us afloat. Without having to pull his weight, I know we will be even better than fine. There is no where to go but up!

The thing that makes me sad is that his and his mothers abuse have made it that I have no feelings at all for him anymmore. I don't care if he lives or dies anymore. I sometimes think the kids would even be better off without him. The older kids want nothing to do with him. His Mother actually shoved my oldest daughter and my husband called her a whore. How much lower can he go?
He is a sad pathetic man, who's children can't stand with no job and no life and no health who lives with his manipulative mommy.

The kids and I are excited and happy. 2008 will be a new start for us. New home, new life. We made it through a living hell and we are all still alive, sane and happy and around to talk about it, and most importantly we still have each other. We have learned who we can count on, and our faith is even stronger.
We all agree not only are we going to be okay, but without him dragging us down, their is no limit to what we can accomplish.

9 months ago if someone had told me I would be saying this, I would have told them they where nuts. But I really am the most fortunate woman in the world!

Lots of love to all of you
                       Love Jeannie