The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I realize this isn't healthy for me. I think I need to make some changes in my life.
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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars. Lea Brown
Hi Dawn, Welcome to MIP. One thing that may help you is to know when we think we are helping the A we are harming them. In helping or rescuing, the A never learns to deal with situations like an adult and make adult decisions. Allow him the respect to work his own program while you focus on yours. You wouldn't want anyone to work your program would you?
take care Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I'd suggest one of the daily meditation books, like Courage to Change, for this. Ten minutes every morning before anyone gets up, reading the day's reading, and thinking about how to work your program throughout the day, really makes a difference. You won't always be perfect, but it will help you set your feet on the right road.
Becoming aware of boundaries was so huge for me. Practice them, Practice them practice them. Don't expect it to come easiy at first. Watch your hungry angry lonely tired's. HALT. I know I am very vunerable when I come up against any of that.
You have been listening with an open mind and you have received help and are getting an understanding of a bit of what needs to be changed in you. This program does work...if you work it. There are some powerful women on this site with great recovery like the ones who have reacted....errr responded to your post (lol). There are of course some great guys also who will pitch in to help support your desire to change. We are fam illl eee. Welcome home. Sit down, listen, learn and practice, practice, practice.
