The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok, so it has been 3 or 4 weeks since I have been able to really log on. We moved our office and were without internet forever. Shew...good to be back on. Sure have needed my Al-anon family lately.
My AH has been a real booger. We got into the dumbest fight a few weeks back. Rather he fought w/me and I chose not to engage in it, which only made him madder. Basically he told me to do something and I said "Ask me nicely." Oh he didn't like it. Started in on me about how I am all independent now and high and mighty, don't need a man...blah blah blah....get off my high horse and suck down my pride....yada yada yada. Really ridiculous.
So anyway, that night after he left my house, he didn't go home to his mom's. Showed up there sometime the next day while she was at church and slept the day away....layed out of work Mon and 1/2 a day Tues. He came over to my house Tues and was clean shaven and dressed nice....trying to play nice. I wouldn't have it. No way. I was tired of the bull. He didn't like that too much either.
This past week he came over and wanted sex. I said no. He made like I was just trying to hold out on him. I let him know it was nothing like that....that I was through and not interested. Bottom Line: Friday night, we ended it. AGAIN!!! LOL. He gave me the speech about how he cannot come over and see me or do things for me if he cannot BE with me....that he has to distance himself...blah blah blah. Needless to say by Sunday, he was trying to work his way back.....telling me he is waiting for my call to invite him back into my life.
What do I have to do to get through to this guy....that I am not interested in having a romantic relationship w/him any more???? I have tried to end it, I have tried to make it work.....NOTHING WORKS. I honestly do not want to be with him any more. I just have to stick to my guns.
Hi QOD. I'd say I am glad to see you back, but that sounds like I am welcoming your troubles with the A. YIKES! Not true. You have made a decision. Stick to your guns. You'll make it just fine.
Happy holidays to you and those you hold dear,
Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
My wife has done much the same thing... It is like a different kind of denial. (if I close my eyes and say the sky is green enough times it will be that way.... right?) Wrong...
There was a quote that I copied from here a few days ago... don't remember who posted it, but it was marvelous.
"Never doubt in the darkness what God has revealed to you in the light"
You are doing what you need to do for yourself... it really doesn't matter if he doesn't like it. It is sad, and hard... but it really doesn't play into your decissions, does it?
Take care of you! You are doing so great!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Woohoo! You're back! What it about men that they can't get it through their head? Just don't want to deal with reality I guess. Just stick to your guns.
Love and blessings to you and your family. Happy Holidays.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Wow, so glad you're back! I think the only thing you can do is not feed him. No communication or contact in any way. I have been trying this, as you know it's hard with kids but I don't talk on the phone or reply to emails anymore. When I have I always regret it. I sure missed you~!
What it about men that they can't get it through their head? Just don't want to deal with reality I guess. 
Just stick to your guns. 
