The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to drop a line and let you all know how wonderful this board is, and how much I truly believe my life has changed from this program. I just cherish the tools and wisdom I have learned from Alanon.
I am so grateful to have learned that if things go badly in my life, I can reach out to someone. I can pray and pray and pray some more. I can get out of my self-pity and worry and try to do something for someone else. I realize that this disease is so encompassing that it affects our sanity at times, but thanks to this program I do not have to feel so depressed and with absolutely no self-esteem.
There is such hope in our program. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I just remember last year at my year of crisis with AH relapse, going to a motel room, taking lots of sedatives and smoking my brains out... telling everyone I just couldn't live without him, literally just wanting to DIE because I could not change the way my AH was going. I really thought I would die of a broken heart.
You know what? Self-destruction and/or withering away are not important to me anymore. I do not want to die because someone else won't do what I want them to do, or has not found their "bottom" yet. I want to LIVE!!! No matter what happens, I matter now! Whatever choice someone makes with their life, it won't bring me down!!! What a revelation!!! True happiness and joy!!!
I take care of myself now. I did not ever do that. If I exercise and eat right, I feel like a million, therefore I am worth something and some help to others. I feel good about myself, so I can help others. I ask HP every morning, on my knees, to help me to be of service to others. To please watch over all of my family, friends, and anyone in this world who is suffering. A certain calm has come over my life. The peace and serenity we all seek. I am not afraid of death or being alone any more.
Just thank you, thank you, thank you for a new lease on life... sometimes the journey is so painful, but the strength you gain is unbelievable. Keep on trucking on, if you are new... you will not regret the things you learn here...
Thank you Heidi for the inspiration and resulting encouragement. I am just floating along and have just snapped out of it enough to start thinking I should be counting my blessings and giving thanks too. It is good to know the serenity and calm found by plugging along day by day. It does work if you work it I've heard and you are reminding me to keep at it. Well done and pleased to hear the confidence and joy of life in your message.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Thanks Heidi, I could not agree more! Thanks for your post. I was also at that point and now I think: who was that woman?! I, too, am so grateful to know some healing and its all because of al-anon.
What a wonderful, uplifting post. I really needed to read that this morning. As I drove to work this morning I thought about not having Christmas this year....."poor me...I get no help from anyone"! As I was reading your post I thought..."I do not need any help from anyone"! I will do what I can do to take care of myself and do what will make me have a nice Christmas. If I cannot hang lights outside (and hubby doesn't get around to it)....so what????? There are many things I can do to make it a good holiday.
Thank you for changing my thoughts today to more positive things.
So glad to hear from you... what a wonderful post.
Some times life is just not fair, but we can make it through and find happiness and joy. Maybe not every second of every day.... but often is my goal. *smile*
Hang in there and thank you for sharing your message of hope... I really needed it today!
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
