The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went:
Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during the night...also happened night before last. Not sick, but coughing and gag reflex thing, she said. Would we be on alert again today in case school called to say he needed to come home? No problem..we're on it. Five minutes later: called again to say "that school cannot get anything straight...tomorrow is the annual THANKSGIVING FEAST and the pie she would take couldn't be store-bought....the kids had made the fixins' and parents should pick up fixins', bring home, and bake".....would we pick up fixins' when we got kid today, and either she or I would bake the pie"....I understood the confusion as I had read the announcement myself and no word that was how this was to happen. So OK..no problem....we're on it.
Call-waiting flash: when I responded and answered, son on line. His ex- had just called him and "yelled at him for his ignorance about tomorrow's activity"....she had signed both of them up to help with set-up and he had to be there at 9 AM. He was in total upheaval...how could he get off work to go...she hadn't told him...he didn't even know what time the meal was which he had planned for...he would get fired if he asked for time...he didn't have her kind of job to be available...on and on and on......I told him I was sorry and he would have to decide: do I go or not? do I work it out or not? I suggested he handle his own signups at the school, call them now and see how he could be of help if he couldn't get there early tomorrow, etc. He yelled at me for the suggestion, said sarcastically he would do just that, and we said good-bye.
What is my point here? I am laughing about this..unusual for me. How two supposedly adult people can screw up such a small event is beyond me. How can you not laugh? They do this constantly and pull me into the chaos of not communicating, not reading announcements, not going to school meetings...
No one is drinking here at this point. No one is impaired. It is just so typical of these two to continue these kinds of battles. And this is why I generally end up depressed and upset. Not today and not tomorrow and not this weekend. I have made up my mind that I won't be manipulated or drawn in. I will fix our quiet holiday meal for the two of us, help my husband through his outpatient procedure he has done tomorrow and the recuperation, read my book, do my crossword, give thanks for having come this far through my cancer recovery, and keep my head above these ridiculous frays. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you good people. Let's all try really really hard to find those things for which we are grateful. (Pray that I can keep this attitude going and not lose it!)
What a great share... when I started getting some black humor out of the chaos my son/his fiance and my wife were stirring up... I started getting better. I never laugh at them, or play off thier crisis as silly... but I do have a tendancy these days to smile at myself and shake my head in amazement.
Nice change isn't it? Someone here told me it was growth ... keep growing!
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Oh my goodness, Oma. What good progress you are making. You will have a good holiday with this attitude, no matter what they do. That is what this program is all about.
Great share. An inspiration to us all.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I can't tell you happy I was when I read your post. You DO have control, you DO have choices.. and you ARE doing it!!!! That's awesome!! Hold on to it! Enjoy your holiday.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Ah, good for you. They can't pull you in if you just won't go.
By the way, what do you wanna bet that the story of the school feast isn't over yet? I figure any activity that depends on people being able to make pie crust is doomed to failure - by my reckoning, I'd say less than 2% of the population can make a pie, these days.....
