The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well, he abused that privelige a few times now. So I told him the other day that I was going to change the combination becasue I was tired of him coming to my house in the middle of the night drunk and sleeping over. And then staying at my house all day the next day, eating my food and taking a shower. Anyway, he knew the new rules so yesterday morning I find him in my spear bedroom sleeping on the floor. The room reeked of alcohol!! I was so angry. I asked him how he got in my house and he said through an unlocked window. We got into a big argument, he called me all sorts of names and said mean, & evil things to me. As he was walking out the door, I said I don't ever want to see you again!! My question is, how do you detach with love when the alcoholic doesn't have any respect for me? How can I be loving when he hurts me with the name calling and the other evil things that were said??