The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me.
I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to understand, guilt, lonelyness and depression.
And other peoples feelings that have been left to me like some sort of task I need to take care of. This is a rough season for people in any sort of recovery, (or in need of it I suspect), and many people around me have raw exposed nerves.
The balance of compassion, empathy and serenity has been tricky for me. Expecting my Awife to understand my compassion seperately from my desire to save our marriage has been a loosing battle. She is either not willing or not capable of understanding that I care about her, even though I think the divorce is the right thing.
This is a line from a prayer I say often... It rings in my head when things are this way:
Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.
I just can't feel so sorry for everyone around me in pain that I drown... that is not what my HP intended, I am sure of it.
The meeting last night really helped... and I am chairing the meeting Wednesday in my home group. I have a feeling I know the topic... *grin*
I hope everyone here knows you are in my prayers, and how grateful I am that you are here. I am sure without this program, and you all... I would be carving my name in the wall of some padded cell long ago. *smile*
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I was in a bad spot in my mind earlier. I was hating the ex and his new Fling. I was making myself miserable and sick. I finally stopped and said to myself "wow, I must not be in a good spot today." I gave myself a big hug, told myself it is getting better and I will get thru this. It is only a feeling, it will pass. And it did. I also realized that I was hungry. I have noticed a HUGE connection between me being hungry and being miserable. I eat and suddenly things seem much more managable. These are MY feelings, there is nothing I have to do about them. That puts a slogan to my mood earlier, thanks!
I have been dealing with some of the same issues myself. Trying to let my "A" know I care about him and I am concerned about him, but still keeping that seperation of the marriage being over.
I can do it and I don't have to own his feelings or his actions.
Thanks for the reminder.
You remember to take care of you to :)
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
I am new to Al-Anon and had not heard this phrase before. I really like it. I am drowning in sad emotions right now and it's a really good reminder to realize the things I feel/fear may not reflect reality and will not feel this way forever.
I guess it's a balancing act. I have compassion for the people at work, but I can't get sucked into their "drama". I can have compassion and understanding for what an addict is going through, but I don't have to let it "get to me". I can love my husband, but hate the disease. Just because you feel compassion for the human race doesn't mean, that you have to take on the world's problems. That' s how we landed here in the first place. I guess this goes hand in hand with Detaching with Love.
Sometimes when the world "gets to me", I have to stop and smell the roses. Or in this case, watch the squirrels run amok! Love and blessings to you and your family. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
