Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one...  I have been good!

I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs!  I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight!  I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am working tomorrow at the first.  It's not as bad as I imagined it to be working 2 jobs. 

Last night the A called because I have refused to reply to his emails, luckily I didn't get to the phone in time.  The reason that I haven't called the police and used the restraining order is that I told him it was ok to contact me by email.  I feel like I need to give him some sort of warning first and let him have the opportunity to stop and then if he doesn't - call the police.  I have NO idea who his parole officer is.  I am getting seriously irritated.  I am going to look into putting a block on my email from him so that I don't even get them anymore.  He has nothing to say that I want to hear.  I am also contemplating getting my cell number changed, that's the only phone number he has for me and I hate having to avoid answering my phone just because of him. 

His sense of entitlement amazes me, he honestly thought I would let him come over for Thanksgiving?  He says he has been clean since he got out and gets tested several times a week and nightly breathalyzers at the shelter but honestly, I just don't want to have anything to do with him anymore.  He causes me stress and why intentionally cause myself stress?  As if I don't have enough already?  I still have our son's birthday (on the 9th) and Christmas to contend with in the next month and I would be perfectly happy if I didn't hear from him again.  I am not that person anymore and I have very little tolerance for BS!