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Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an attorney also and very intelligent, and said that he felt the mitigating factors in his case were 1. He had completely quit drinking (true so far, but it's only been a month);2. that he was going to AA daily (a lie - he's never been). 3. That he was seeing a psychologist who specializes in alchoholism (a lie - he went once after he got out of detox) 4. He prays every day because he's so thankful that no one was killed or injured (news to me), and 5. that I have cancer and he is my care giver (a lie - I have been in remission for over a year and work 40 hours per week). The attorney emailed him back that that since this was his third lifetime DUI and his blood alcohol was something like .23 the judge was probably going to order him into a 30 day rehab program, with a closely monitored follow up program, probation for a year, community service, etc. My husband then emails him back and asked if he could go to an online DUI school!!!! The attorney emaled him back one word - NO. I am amazed at how much he still doesn't get it. Thanks for letting me vent! Chetch
So many excuses and lies. It's so frustrating. It seems neverending! I am rooting for the 30 day treatment at the least. Maybe that will help him, maybe he needs jail time, who knows?
I'm hoping they throw the book at him. He grew up a rich kid, which I( did not - his father was a doctor) and he was spoiled from the day he was born. He needs a real dose of reality.
I hope that things come out okay as a whole. This would be an excellent time to practice "Let Go and Let God." An acronym I repeat to myself often when I'm in this position is "Leave Everything To God, Okay?" (edited to say, "God as "I" understand him, or my personal Hp") Ultimately, and unfortuneately, what I want is often times not what I need, and anytime I try to force what I want and make it into what I need, what I'm really saying is that 1) God doesnt' know how to do his job; this was the thinking that led me into insanity in the first place and very quickly brings me back at any given time whenever I confuse my name with God's; 2) the belief that God needs my help doing his job; this is the thinking that keeps me in recovery, because whenever I believe that I am God (see #1), ultimately I try to exert control of any type and of any degree over anyone and, of course this doesn't work. And, lastly, 3) God's will will not fit with my will when my will isn't honestly in line with God's. Think about how toddlers react when we try to restrain them: they don't. They squirm; they cry; they scream; they wiggle; they run away. It's teh same way with us whenever we try to enforce our own will, trying to persuade ourselves, really, it's Gods. Or, alternatively, try to fit a round peg in a square hole: it'll work to some degree, with space left over; now, try the square peg in a round hole, and tell me how it works. Ultimately, I have come to believe that the first step is worded extremely carefully. I have come to believe I am not powerless at all. I have simply mis directed my power. I have used my power to control others when they do not need to be controlled, and are perfectly capable of leading miserable, hopeless, dark lives without me trying to manipulate them further; I have used my power to attempt to better myself at the expense of others, and wondered why it is people retaliate in response, ignoring the fact that people who use people will be used in responce; I have lied to people and wondered why I am surrounded by liars, forgetting the fact that honesty kills off any sort of deciet. Ultimately, your husbands life is not in your hands, but yours is. I suggest that the power that is present in your life be evaluated for the amazing worth that it does hold.
One thing you can do about this is not to let yourself get conned into lying for him. Let him know that if he uses you as an excuse, you are prepared to tell the truth.
Won't stop his fantasy world, but at least you don't have to be in it with him.
I'm glad no one was killed. I can only hope the judge throws the book at him. Maybe, then the seed will be planted. Now is the time to take the focus off him and put it back where it belongs, on you! Congrats on being in remission! That's awesome.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
My ex boyfriend had a hit and run. I am still not sure why he did not get jail time. I think its a big issue when we put a lot of source in this will get him sober, this is where he lied, this is the mess he is in. When I finally detached from the A it hurt me deeply but it helped me to begin taking care of me. I have neglected myself so much.
That's awesome. 