The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."
--Contributed to "All in a Day's Work"
I think many of y'all here have watched as I've bumped and bruised my way to learning how to mellow out, but I completely understood how this employee felt about the boss; many, many people, before and in recovery, felt that I was/am a hard you-know-what. Many, many people on this board have commented to that effect too. However, I've noticed, and appreciated, people saying "it's so good to see you learning to mellow out and lighten up." For me, this has been one of the biggest tasks in my recovery--learning to lighten up and let go. What about you? What, would you say, has been one of the biggest tasks of your recovery? Have a good weekend! ((MIP AFG)) ~Sarah
Not always having to be right, walking away from a fight, lightening up, growing up and realizing that I'm the only one who's gonna take care of me and the kids, It's been a rude but happy awakening!
Mine has been a "fall from arrogance", as in.... I used to think I was right all the time, both about what I needed to do, and what others "should" do. My years of living around active alcoholism, and the recovery from Al-Anon and my other forms of "program", have helped me embrace the fact that I know very little, and have sooooo much to learn.
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I relate to the boss in this story too. I have a hard time lightening up and mellowing out. I take everything too seriously and life is too short for that. I remember when I had cancer and was receiving chemo through a vein in my arm they had to IV each time. The nurse said once to me, "you don't have to be so stoic" I asked her what that meant. She said it was ok to cry. It hadn't once occured to me that I could cry. I had cancer for God's sake. It was ok to cry. "Stoic-not showing feeling, esp. passion" is something I'm trying to overcome. I want to be more passionate and less stoic. Not that being strong hasn't helped me to get here to al-anon, but now I have new tools. Thanks for making me think Tiger.
keeping the focus on ME and only ME- it is astonishing the range of distractions I will pause to engage in. I self sabotage like breathing oxygen. I had no idea! But I am seeing and learning and knowing and I am grateful.
