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help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day trying to work it out, asked my boss for better equipment (something I had identified that ate away at my sense of accomplishment), set a boundary with a co-worker and asked for help on a project. Still, that did not address what makes me unsatisfied. What works for you? thanks!! Jill
I completely relate with your day today. There are often days that the littles of things build up and ruin my day. It may be that I wake up late.... and the hot water in the shower just doesn't get hot quick enough (after all I am in a rush!)... then the traffic - which is always terrible when I am running late (hmmm)...
Then I get to work and I'm already worked up. The little 'issues' that i've had all along just explode. I'm given all sorts of responsibilities and yet no resources or support to do the job WELL (aka - perfectly).
So... what do I do when I'm in such a tizzy. Truthfully - sometimes I shut my door and cry. Then I may complain to my husband on the phone and he will gently remind me to "start your day over" ... So once I get past being annoyed with him "spewing" program stuff at me (my sick perception here.. the reality is he is loving me and detaching with love)...
I breath a deep breath and either call my sponsor or read some alanon literature which I keep in my bottom drawer. It usually helps.
If it is a day where I just can't shake it... I might leave work a little early.
Not sure If this share helps but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!
I was reflecting on the type of days I just posted about and I think that my outward "resentments" are toward my boss for not providing me with resources and support, towards other people who are just "getting in my way" etc etc etc.
Really, though, I think my greatest resentment on those days (and often the resentment that I miss)... is being resentfull towards myself for...
1) not setting boundaries 2) not taking care of my own needs 3) expecting myself to be perfect
Thats it... and if I look at it this way... these are the things that I can change. I cannot change my boss or other people's driving :)
Thanks for your post. I just had the worst week from hell at work. I struggle with the same issues. What I read was that when we hang on to resentments it is that we are using it like a boundary. Also, if you play it over and over in your mind it is your self will. If your mind is clear and the answer comes to you then it is your HP talking to you.
So it gives me alot to work on. I found that I was whining instead of really speaking up for myself.
I think many times it is about the perspectives WE bring to situations.....
I was listening to a wonderful self-help tape from John Gray, author of the "Mars and Venus" books.... he talked of a story/situation, to explain the differences in perspectives..... he was speaking before a live audience, so he asked a show of hands for something that has happened to most of us - had anyone ever stepped of a curb, only to have a passing motorist almost hit them. Of course, many hands were raised.... then he shared about this from the standpoint of "perspective"..... He said, before he learned to react differently, when those situations would happen, he would shake his fist (or worse) at the motorist.... he would be visibly angry and upset.... He would go back to the office and tell everyone what this jerk driver had "almost" done, and go on & on about driving skills, etc.... then he would phone his wife at home, and relive the story yet again..... if he was seeing people socially that evening, the story would come out even yet again, and in effect, he was keeping all that stress and anger, and reliving it each and every time.....
Then he learned about perspectives, and it is what WE bring to situations.... he has "trained his mind" to look for positives in situations, instead of negatives (he mentioned that 90% of thoughts of the untrained human mind are negative - the good news is - we can change that!). Today, he claims that if/when such situations would occur, he would simply stand back and say to himself "wow John, pretty good reactions for an old guy!", and the circumstance would have little negative impact on his entire day.
That story stuck with me... it's probably been six or seven years since I heard it, but it obviously hit home, since I can still remember the majority of what he said.... I think it is true, and what I liked about it the best, was that it was something within MY control, lol.
Hope that helps... Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
