I was coming on here regularly for a while - right about the time that I realized that the A in my life (live-in bf) was really an alcoholic and out of control.  RIght now I'm just venting - and breathing a sigh of relief.  We lived together for about a year and 4 days.  WOW!!  Many episodes transpired, car accidents, bed-wetting numerous times, peeing on the living room carpet, getting fired, spending all his money on booze & relying on me for support.  The week after Halloween he called me at work at 3:30, said he took a whole bottle of pills (some sort of sedative - probably close to 50 pills).  I didn't believe him.  I got home at 5:00 - he was drunk & in bed but seemed fine.  At 7:00 he got up & wanted to smoke.  I tried to stop him - he couldn't stand & fell several times.  I realized that he needed to go to the hospital so I called the ambulance.  I had to restrain him until they got there.  He couldn't stand, he was starting to convulse, and his jaw was locking up.  He was in the hospital for 2 days, checked himself out.  While still medicated he drank.  I got home from school at 9:00PM with my teenage daughter.  His car was outside with the door open.  The plants out front were knocked over, broken, and dirt was everywhere.  The house was a mess.  He had a huge cut on his leg - blood was all over the sheets and bedspread.  He had walked outside in the rain with the bedspread so it was all wet and dirty from dragging on the ground.  He was halucinating - said my daughter and her friends were there & stole his things.  He had a pan on the stove with the burner turned on & nothing in it.  I spent 3 hours cleaning up the mess, sat down at the computer, & found him a $300. ticket home.  I took the rest of the week off to babysit him and get his stuff packed.  He had to leave the car and a lot of his belongings here (I'm in Hawaii). 

So since he's been gone he has done nothing to get well.  He is supposed to go and stay with his mother - a recovering A - and go to meetings.  But he calls me everyday and says that he's coming back, that he believes that we can work this out, that he knows that he did wrong, blah, blah, blah.  I told his dad that if he comes back here and tries to come here I will call the police.  I've decided that I am going to stop talking to him for 6 months because I need to heal.  In our relationship, I just made it easier for him to be dysfunctional.  And because he is now focusing his thoughts on trying to get back with me, he isn't focusing on himself like he should be. 

Anyway, I know that this message board isn't intended to give advice, but I just have to say that having him gone is the best feeling in the entire world and I would never, ever go back.  It was a good decision.  I'm lucky at being isolated on an island - he would need a plane ticket to come back.  But I am hoping to move and will not give him the address.  My wish for others who have an A in their life is that they could experience the relief that I feel right now. 

Aloha

Kerowyn

-- Edited by Kerowyn at 14:40, 2007-11-15