The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize.
The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("happily ever after")... the loss of relationships (including pets)
Growing up in an alcoholic home with a very abusive father ~ I never had a childhood. For that I have never really grieved. I went to a therapist nearly 20 years ago and she told me wayyy back then that I would need to grieve that loss ... and it might take a year or two or three ~ I decided that I wouldn't allow that... my reasoning ~ my father took every day of my childhood and he wouldn' take not one day of my adulthood.
Well... twenty years later, here I am ~ still trying to fill the void to NOT feel the loss ~ So, it turns out my therapist was right.
Here is a miracle ~ just a few hours after that meeting.... my husband and I had to put our precious cat to rest. Oh the pain.
So today, I am grieving ~ for the loss of our precious cat and ... it feels like I am grieving ALL of my losses all tonight. The pain steals away my breath and wrings the joy from my heart.
(((Dee))) I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. My sister just lost her kitty about 2 weeks ago and we're all just devastated. I just went with her tonight to pick up his ashes. Our furry friends are such an important part of our families and lives. I know I've been holding tight to my 2 dogs ever since her cat's death.
Take care of you... Artygirl
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
So sorry about your cat. Losing a cherished pet is such a hard thing. They love us unconditionally and that makes it hurt all the more. I had to have my cat put to rest when he was 17 years old and I know it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Take care of yourself,
Cookie
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Aloha Dee...I never liked the grieving process either and would hold it off too! Being a male I don't do emotions as well as the female members do. I try to get it all settled out in my head. That has never worked either and I don't try as often. I had a wonderful sponsor during the "learning how to feel" days and on the subject of grieving he taught me that my best grieving should be done with "balance". Balance was looking for the gratitudes during the grief period and celebrating them along with handling the loss. I am indebted to him for that wisdom. Now grieving doesn't own me "It too will pass".
I'll bet your cat did lots of stuff that helped you to be happy and enjoy your life.
Oh I am so sorry. You speak right to my soul in what you wrote. I lost my cat 6 months ago and it is still so painful at times I can barely breath. I never thought I would get so attached to a little peebag (ha) but that cat just stole the very heartstrings out of my chest. I just didn't know if I could bare it. It does get better, time is a great healer, but there will be times...................oh, mercy me, there will be times. I believe that there is a great peace after and for my little Maria, that there are lizards galore in that great yonder for her to tease and pester all the day long.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved feline companion. I lost one of my dogs earlier this year, the youngest one, to liver failure. I feel your pain.
I too often find myself grieving a lot more than just the present circumstances.
I didn't grow up in an alcoholic home, but it was rigid and dysfunctional, with an emotionally distant father, and controlling mother.
It's just within the last couple of years that I finally realized I needed to grieve the fact that I will never have the parents I would like to have, acknowledge that and feel the pain, and move on.
I've had to learn to nurture myself, which can be incredibly hard to do.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs)))
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
The loss of a cherished pet are no less than that of a human being. Sometimes it hurts even more because they love us unconditionally. Taking the time to grieve for whoever, whatever and whenever you choose to is a healthy thing. Sweet Pipers Kitty and I send you all our love and prayers. May your dear kitty have a wonderful new life. You didn't tell us her/his name. Kitty was very lucky to have you. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
So sorry for the loss of your fur child. I know your heart hurts. I had to help my sweet dog pass over a couple of months ago...I miss her dearly. I've planted a small garden near where she is buried in our yard. I honor her life...she gave love so unconditionally and i learned much from her. You are in my prayers.
