The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the changes my life has had, the growth I have done and the changes my A has also gone through.
I pride myself on accepting, accepting of who I am, where I have come from, what I have gone through, where I am going, who I choose as friends, and who I choose to love.
I don't ask for others to do the same. If they do it is a wonderful gift, if they don't again I try hard to accept that.
I love with my whole heart. I hurt with my whole heart also.
I have come to a time in my life where time is precious, where I have learned that my feelings are just as important as otheres. My feelings are no longer put to the side, or swept under a rug to be dealt with at a later date. Those who have known me for years or for thier lifetimes will at times find it hard to accept that these are MY feelings. My feelings are no longer influnced by those around me.
In many ways I have come into my own. Owning what is mine. This has been a hard journey for me. At times it has been painful because I have had to learn to forgive not only those that have hurt me but to forgive myself for mistakes or roads I have taken in the past. Learning that without the joy and pain I would not be who I am today.
I am a person, I am not perfect but a work in progress.
As my children grow and have families of thier own I hope that they will take into consideration that I am not only their mom but a person. A woman, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a lover to one, and more. As I accept who they are. I stand at times looking in seeing the joy of their lives and at times the pain they endure because they are adults and they are on their own journey. I know where they have come from but I don't know where they will go on their trip in life.
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
