The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not to long ago I burnt my hand, could have been worse, but was by far the worse burn I have ever had.
I was boiled some water in the microwave at work. I was pouring the water into my container and the container tipped, I reached for it, caught it, but poured boiling water over my hand. I was right if front of the sink, and ran cold water over my hand.
When I was filling out the incident report (since this took place at work I had to) there was a question that asked what I could do differently to make sure this doesn't happen again. I answered "Not try to catch my lunch next time".
That night I chaired a meeting. I can't remember what the topics were, but someone moved me by their share so I felt that I needed to share as well. In my share I spoke of gratitude. While I was running my hand under the cold water I was feeling grateful that I was right next to the sink. I also remembered that I was laughing at myself. I was grateful for seeing the humor in the situation.
I then thought about the pain that I was caused by trying to save something that I didn't need to save. If my lunch would have tipped it would have landed in the sink, been easy to clean, I could have walked to the store and got something else, and I didn't really like that lunch in the first place.
Then a thought came to me in the middle of my share. How many times have I been have I been "burnt" because of my trying to hold on to my "A"? As my hand was throbbing I thought that this could be the most painful lesson I have ever learned and needed from HP. Holding on to my hubby right now and trying to save him is only hurting me, hurting him, HP will be there to help him up, and I really don't like him right now.
I need to let him fall. I need to stop reaching out to save him.
I gave him and ultimatum before he was released from jail. He has crossed every line I laid down in just two short months. It is time I stopped reaching and follow through with what I said would happen.
I am tired of being burned, and the only way I am going to heal is if I stop putting my hand in the hot water where it doesn't belong.
Thanks for being here. My love to you all.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
I love this metaphor. Hope you don't mind if I copy your story. I would like to share it with a friend. What an eye opener. You and others on this board have beautiful open minds. I have never been around so many forward moving people in my life. That's what I love about this program.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I love this post, at the moment, its just where I'm at, I'm trying to save an alcoholic student from herself, this has proved very meaningful for me. I got to let people fail if its what it takes,
The awful thing is we reach out to catch them, get burned, and we STILL don't ever save them. So all we end up with is the burn. Such a hard hard lesson.
Wow! What an incredible share. I've always said that HP works in mysterious ways, and here's a prime example of it. Answers are there when we are truly ready to receive them. Thanks for reminding me of that. I have some searching to do. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
OUCH! I've been burned literally a few times also -- curling iron and spaghetti being poured over a colendar are dangerous for me . I hope your hand is better.
Wow, what a message, a literal message that you can apply to your recovery.
love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
What great reflections. I do understand this very very much. I think for me there was a compulsion. I had to really just dig in and practice detachment.
. I hope your hand is better.