I've just kinda been stuck in this funk. I'm not sure what it is. I am going to see my family dr to see if he can put me on something to sleep. I just think too much death is around me and I'm burning out. I don't feel depressed but I wake up with anxiety at four in the morning every morning and it won't stop. It feels like even being a mom gets overwhelming and I was never like that. If a mom/human/woman can get burned out then I am right there standing on the ledge. That's the only way I can explain it. I've quit talking to all of my friends, I'm not real sure why. I found some sort of excuse to get them all away from me. Maybe just to not have to be a part of if and when they die. I've had too much and never want to lose another friend. I'd rather be alone. One day at a time is all I can do.
As for ah, I could give a crap about him. He knows how I feel and he could care less so why should I??? No pity party, I know I stayed in this myself, I brought it all on myself and I chose to leave all my friends. So maybe I am in safety mechanism mode. I want to be here for a while. I am still very anxious and panicky for unknown reasons.....or maybe there are too many reasons. I'm too tired to try and sort it all out. I'm sure I'll get over it. Thank you for caring. Love ya'll

cc to Tea2