The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for the replies to my quick update a while ago.
Continuation ... I'm happy. Thinga are all coming together, I was declared legally blind, opening up all kinds of opportunities for me and releasing alot of stress over medical bills and financial issues.
On the home front, both homes ... my house was taken back by the bank. Thankfully I owe nothing, my credit took a big hit but I can repair that eventually. And I don't have to worry about it anymore, most important.
New place is nice, I have a roomie, a family member. It's odd, but any situation would be after so many years of having a different life. Every once in a while I find myself walking on eggshells and practicing people pleasing with my roomie, I STOP and I am getting better. It's good practice.
Had an issue come up with a family member I was blamed for something I had no control over. To a severe extreme, blamed I mean. After thinking about for a while I decided this particular person has always treated me this way, scapegoat to be angry at and withhold conversation, affection even common courtesy at times when he could not blame anyone else. I informed the rest of my family calmly that I'm not playing the game anymore. I can't seem to stop myself from trying to make him happy so life is harmonious and it always comes back to this, so in order for me to live happily and healthy I must remove myself from his influence. For good. I don't know how the details will work out, things like holidays and so on may be hard but I am not going to do anything that makes me feel bad anymore.
My Sully ... yes Deb you had it right *laugh* is so happy. He has four footed friends and someone else to follow around. I am kind of boring to him now so he follows the roomie around to see what she is up to. I never noticed until moving here that in the year and some I have had him, he never left the room I was in while living with my A. It has taken me 2 months to get used to him not being at my side constantly. I'm glad he does not have to be on guard 24/7 anymore. As much as he seemed to like my A he doesn't seem to miss him much.
And neither do I ... not really. I miss my sober A, when he was trying. When life was good. He calls quite a bit, especially now that the final divorce date is set. It's ok I answer when I feel like it, and not when I don't. I don't have much to say, neither does he. We're both someplace better for us now, it's good.
So now I am going to go enjoy my day off, doing something, not sure what yet ... maybe just go watch the clouds float by
Glad to here from you, and so glad you are doing well. Just wanted to say Howdy!
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
