The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This will be a weekend I will be spending without the a and I am looking forward to quiet time and a time to regroup before I have to move onto to another phase of my life. I am deeply deeply in debt and must repair my credit somehow if I am going to rent again in the next few years. I will have to get another job and will be in the next few weeks working on what can I do in the next year to move myself to a better place.
i do not knwo what will happen with the A on Monday in court. I have made contingency plans. I can have a friend help me move the remainder of his stuff to storage. I do know know how long I can keep the beagle for but I will try to keep her for the time being.
In the menatime I am trying to make order out of disorder. Thankfully I have no more common bills with hte A. There may be a possiblility i can get the truck but I would have to really evaluate what the options are. I would only take it on if I can put the truck in my name and that might be complicated. So much of this depends on if and when the A goes to jail and how long he gets (I presume he is going to go down for a while).
I have many many health issues that I need to contend with including major dental work and I have no clue how I will get to those but I am willing these days to work on them one day at a time. Needless to say having another job might help with that.
I am also willing to work on getting out of the terrible isolation that I have been in. I need friends, social activities and people to talk to. This room has been the only place I came to for the past few years. I just totally isolated myself in shame and fear and obligation towards the A. That has to end and for me it will be baby steps to get to a place where I have people calling me again. My cell phone is silent except from mandates from the A that I help him!
I feel more centered and clear that I can move on now. I do not dread the a going to jail, in fact as his uncle suggests it may be the only thing that will save his life at this juncture.
I am going to have to work hard not to fall into obsessing about the negative and flying off into fantasy.
It's been a looooong journey so far with moving, etc., but I hope you take a moment to celebrate all of your accomplishments this weekend. Your journey and your honesty about how achingly slow it can be to get better and move out of a bad place, really helps keep the journey real for me and helps me stay realistic in my own journey.
You're doing great! I know what you mean about isolation, I have been that way for years and it's hard to get back into socializing! Once you do it will be rewarding though. I had a great weekend!
