Al-Anon Family Group

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Desperate!
Post Info TOPIC: Desperate!
BrandyCane


Newbie

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Posts: 2
Date:
Desperate!
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Hi I am a new member.  My story is long, but I will try and make it short and sweet.  My husband is an A.  He has been for the last 13 years that we have been together.  We are in the middle of a remodel of our 35 year old home. Over the last few weeks he has been drinking more and more.  It seems that he is drunk every day.  I have fallen into the trap of Dont rock the boat and maybe it will be ok.  It all came to ahead on Monday when he decided to go into detox. 

I guess it is important to tell you that he is Bipolar.  Anyways, my sister-in-law and I took him to a Psychatric Hospital to be admitted.  He did this on his own.  We encouraged him but did not threaten him.  He stayed until Thursday night then annouced he was cured and was coming home.

You probably know what happened from there.  I work the night shift so I wasn't home when he arrived not that that would have made a difference.  He of course got drunk as usual. 

When I got home from work at 8am.  I was tired and went to bed on the floor in the guest bedroom.  When I woke up he was completely inbreiated.  I did not get mad or angry.  I just told him this was his life and he must make his own decisions.

My question is when is enough enough.  He is 14 years older than me and we have no children.  I would love to have a child, but I am not that selfish to bring a child into this envirnoment.  I have plans with my family this weekend and would like to continue with these plans, but don't know if I am making a mistake by going.  I know he will get drunk whether I am here or not.

Oh yea he works (or did) for his sister who has now informed me that he will not be allowed back to work until he joins a program.  Help!!!!

BrandyCane

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debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3131
Date:
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You sound like me!!!  I too did not get into HIS stuff. I felt too it was his problem not mine.

Your question can only be answered by you. We all seem to hit our heads into the wall until we realize we do not choose to go there anymore.

It makes us so sick we say,"enough, is enough." For me it was that is that.

Yes I would go do whatever I wanted. You bet. You not allowing the disease to pull you in is healthy.

It is sad when someone we love is so sick.

Glad you found us, I hope you will come back.
love,debilyn

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"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
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rtexas


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1371
Date:
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Truth is that nobody can really answer your question of when is enough enough. It is different for everyone, and when you are ready... you will know that answer for you.

What helped me was to read everything I could get my hands on and get to as many meetings as possible. None of that will "tell" you the answer either, but it helped me get in touch with me... better.

Helped me calm down and understand what is mine to deal with and what is not. I know that for a long time I felt like an idiot to just keep watching this happen around me, but the reality was I wasn't ready to make that decission. By the time I was... It was obvious and the cool thing is that then I felt confident it was the right thing for me.

Hope you will continue to post, and maybe find a local meeting for yourself... they can be very supportive.

Take care of you!

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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
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