The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long time with brain tumors. This one was inoperable and had taken her life. I was able to say good bye in my own way by sending a letter a month or so ago with my mother who read it to her by her bed side. She was a good person and a good friend to me.
Since working this program it has made me more aware of those people in my life that I'm grateful for. My aunt and I had not been around each other for many years, but after having my children I made sure I made it down to her so she could see my babies. She threw me a suprise baby shower and evited friends and family to celebrate. As a teen she was there for me in so many ways. My parents had divorced and my mother was out dating and having her own life. I was an angry kid, looking for answers and resolution to my questions and heart ache. My aunt would talk to me and was often my confidante. There are things I told her that I never told my mother, things I know would have hurt my mom at the time, she didn't judge me, she just listened. She was a good mom herself and when I think about her I think about how consistent, loving, and firm she was with her children, with me, with everyone. No one walked over her, because she would never allow it. She was respected and loved. ( She's someone I admire and striving to become that firm but loving person myself)
Our trip was stressful, two bored 4-year olds in the back, screaming and carrying on, made me and my Ah just a bit on edge. I had a great deal of anxiety about his driving, everything seemed to get on my nerves. The drive home yesterday was much better though. Started out at 4 am and got home around 7 pm. It was a good experience for all of us. I enjoyed seeing my family that I had not seen in almost 4 years, I even met people who are family that I never knew I had. So now I have some new people to visit when I go back. I loved my home as a child but happy to come back to my home now. It is sad to see the damage that is still being dealt with by Hurricane Katrina and it is still very fresh in all of their minds. I saw a great deal of love and faith from each of them, giving up is not an option, they just keeping putting one foot forward and continuing on. As I said, it was bitter sweet and I'm glad to be home now. Just wanted to share some of that with you all. Have a wonderful day.
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I am so glad the AH could be there for you in your time of need. When my mother died the A I have been involved with was overwhelmed. He eventually said it brought up too much about his own father dying. In fact it brought up a lot about his relationship with his mother which he rarely talks about.
I am glad you are able to take this time for you. I think that is impressive. Reflecting is so important. Years ago I reconnected with my mother in order to be able to say goodbye. There are lots of different goodbyes. Mine was not bittersweet there was still a great deal of rage there. There are times when I can get to bittersweet but it isn't often.
I am glad for you that you can remember your aunt so fondly.
What a blessing to have had this woman in your life, and you know she felt the same way about you. These are the beautiful things that are there for us. I'm glad her fight and suffering are over, and that you were able to have a good time with your family.
I see so many positive thoughts and words in your post, your focus on the "good" must make you a wonderful person to be around.
You know the rest . . . take care of you! If there is a heaven she's up there hoping that's what you'll continue to do :)
Thank you guys for your kind words and support. Life has to go on and there is more fun to be had. That's how it should be. I have lots of peace about her passing because I know she lived a full life. She laughed alot and loved alot.
Living One Day At A Time, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
