The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subtle - can anyone tell me how they know the "sign".....????
I haven't had much contact with the A for 2 months while he binged and then went into rehab. During that time I detached and found more strength than I knew I had - I'm so grateful to the program and actually to my A as well even though the past year has been difficult, it actually turned into a blessing. I've really been feeling great. In addition, I've had 3 perspective and very good job offers come to me without barely any effort on my part - my HP is really looking for my higher good! But (and here's where I get stuck sometimes) I need to decide on which one to take by next Friday. Two of them are out of state and would require me to move. They are in the city where I used to live prior to me moving here to be with the A. The other is local.
I've been here just over a year and its been a tough year. I'm beginning to establish a life for myself here and am defintely moving in a positive direction. It appears the A would like to rekindle our relationship and he sounds like he is moving in the direction of recovery. However, I know not to have any false expectations and have told him that at this point, his friendship would be great but I am not ready for any type of dating relationship with him. I also know not to base my decision on what do to on him, but rather on what is in my best interest. I would be lying to myself if I didn't acknowledge that there is still a piece of me who hopes and dreams that maybe but time will tell if he is really recovering.
Moving back would be tough but I have a solid group of friends there and could pretty much pick up where I left off. One job is a promotion at my old company where I was for 3 years - the serenity for me is that I know the company and the people. However, I know this past year has changed me and moved me in a more positive and healthy direction. I'm not sure all of those friendships serve me anymore? But then, I know I would attract new and healthy friendships as I am starting to do here.
I could go on and on - I guess i need to sit down and sort out the pros and cons and then prioritize what is most important. I just want to be sure I making my decision because its good for me and what is in front of me today. Not because of what I hope things may or may not be though I'm kind of curious where things will go.
Sorry sooooo long - thanks for allowing me to vent and get closer to what I'm feeling and where my HP is guiding me.
Welllllll , that is kinda a nice decission to have to make for a change which job do you take . Well as far as the A is concerned if he is serious about sobriety he will show u by his actions not what he says and if your supposed to be in a relationship with him it will happen . I would sit down with pen and paper , look at the positives in each job offer and of course the negatives . then make a decission that is best for you . Regardless of wether u are in a relationship with him or not your career is your choice and you decide which direction your going . good luck Louise
I think moving is a bit undertaking personally. I would want a pretty good guarantee if I were to move somewhere. I've moved and not had a good experience of it. In addition the A just supposedly moved for a job that turned out not to exist.
I don't want to be negative though I know for me change is very difficult. I've tried the long distance thing with the A. That didn't work that wel.l. I think it is very very difficult when one is still involved.
