The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickening hot, and, i have an injured dog to care for. i was going to bring her with me to the roundup. it is a long drive to the place where this event is held, two-three hours by highway. i started to pack up the car for the night, when i thought, this is not a good idea. the dog came out of surgery Tuesday, was back at the vets yesterday due to mild but messy complications from medications. i have to administer these messy meds four times a day, and clean up an awful mess if she sicks them up. right.................,???????!?!? and, i am going to take her to a round up in the hot sun because i can't leave her alone. not smart. sometimes, i get a little concerned that if i don't go to every meeting and special event i hear about, i will miss out on some recovery. today, my higer power told me NOT SO. i am in recovery to learn how to live responsibly. taking a sick dog to a round up is not responsible. normally, i would not have thought of doing such a stupid thing, but, the injury my dog incurred was done by nineteen month grand daughter. so, not only was i playing nurse maid to a sick animal all week, i was also stressed out about telling my daughter that our beautiful little girl hurt the dog, BADLY. we have a situation here with this beautiful little baby girl. she is unique. we don't know how unique yet. it is one of those situations where everyone knows, but, nobody says anything. the child exhibits some behavioral patterns that have caused us some concern. autism has been suggested. we just don't know for sure. [drat...........the tears are coming now.] i was so nervous about telling my daughter that our baby girl hurt the dog, i lost some sleep, didn't eat properly and became a bit out of sync. my thinking was a mess. this morning just after i decided not to go to the round up, the dog got sick by the front door. i cleaned it up, went to lie down, and, slept until four o'clock this after noon. talking to my daughter went well, taking care of the dog is going well, going to a round up so far out of my district would not have gone well. when i woke up, i knew i made the right desicion to stay home. sometimes the clarity of higher power comes in the quietest moments when i am alone. going to meetings and special events are IMPORTANT, but so are my responsibilities at home. i was feeling so bad about the circumstances concerning my dogs injury, and, i was so tired, my thinking was not straight. i thought i needed a round up. what i needed was sleep. i am so glad i did not get on that highway, tired as i was with an injured dog getting sick in my vehicle. somthing awful could have happened.
I'm so glad your HP gave you the wisdom not to take yourself or that poor doggie out in the heat. Instead you were able to get what you really needed which was rest and sleep.
HP, who I call God, has stopped me many times from making unwise decisions.
It's not unusual for a child that age to get really rough with a dog to the point of hurting it. It's not easy to keep your eye on a small child every minute. I suggest you forgive yourself and your granddaughter for hurting the dog. Accidents happen and sounds like doggie's going to be okay.
If your granddaughter needs help, I hope her parents will get it for her. One of my grandsons had a tendency toward autism, but my daughter recognized it and now that he's in school, he gets special help. It's always good to get some professional help. The dog incident may or may not have been a wake-up call.
Sounds like you made a good choice - it is hard sometimes to know the best way to take care of ourselves.
If the little girl has some problems, it is so much better if it is recognized, diagnosed, and help started early, rather than later. If there really is nothing wrong, then no harm no foul, right? I work with a fair number of kid with special needs of different kinds, and it is amazing the improvement that there can be when a condition is diagnosed, and everyone starts working towards helping the child cope and succeed. I remember one boy I worked with who had Aspergers - he wasn't diagnosed until he was ten. I had been caring for him for about four years - knew there was something wrong, and found, once I knew what to do, that often I had been treating him in exactly the worst way - once I understood his condition, I was able to deal with him in ways that helped him, rather than made things worse. Once he and I both had some understanding of how his mind worked, we were able to use tools to make things better - it changed from me dreading going to work on days when he would be there, to actually enjoying my time with him.
i was concerned about conversation with my daughter because i wanted to word it so that she was not to shocked or hurt.
lin0606,
i have thought of apergers, actually our girl exhibits more the characteristics of asbergers than autism. except that she does not talk yet. not one word. ooooohhhhh, but, she is the most adorable thing on the planet. i love her so. my daughter is in agreement with me that something is not right. she doesn't want to know "what" right now. hopefully she and her partner will get a diagnosis soon, so, we can effectively work together for this child.
