The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their ability to recognize the need to get help for their desire to stop drinking and their willingness to admit they cannot cope with the problem by themselves. For us in Alanon the "recipients" lets say, of the disease which affects us by another's drinking, we too must admit that we cannot cope with the problems ourselves. We enter the doors of alanon seeking for a solution. Those who are especially close to the alcoholic are affected the most, and we start taking on the blame, the hurt, the fears. The stero-type of an alcoholic is not the skid row bum anymore, it is our parents, it is our husbands, it is our siblings, our children. Knowledge is power, and the more we learn about this disease called alcoholism, the more we will understand not only the alcoholic, but ourselves as well, as why we do the things we do.
For me some of the issue is that some of his behavior when he is not drinking is worse than when he isn't. So the drinking is just part of it.. Yes the drinking and 'using" brings the associations with people who drive me insane.
I think for me personally as someone who used alcohol as a stress reducer I stopped drinking years ago. I never learned the skills to reduce stress so my codependenccy (which is my core issue) got much much worse. This is one reason why it is is so so core for me to further my recovery as well as to be aware that just because the A is not drinking doesn't mean that he is "better". Some of the stress is off but until he looks at core patterns and behaviors it isn't necessarily a smooth ride.
Let not forget that for my A, there were actual chemical inbalances in his brain. This caused him to have spinning thoughts, super anxiety, etc. One of the reasons he drank was to stop the spinning thoughts. But in order to treat these disorders, he had to get sober and stay sober long enough to find a really good pyschiatrist that could help him. Please also remember NOBODY wants to be an addict. The same way, NOBODY wants to be a co-dependent. But it is up to the person to seek help for both conditions.
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
There are about as many "types" of alcoholics as there are grains of sand on a beach. Many alcoholics drink because they just plain want to or because they can. And there are more. Alcohol is an anesthetic for sure that causes more pain than it can ever kill and not only for the drinker. Mental health professionals use to say that alcoholics drank because they had problems until drinkers taught them that they (the drinkers) had problems because they drank the way they did. When they got alcohol free it was discovered that they didn't have many more problems than the average person.
In AA they say that "...if you are willing and have the capacity to be honest..." then the person can recover in AA. They go on to say that, "...even those with mental problems can find help if they have the capacity to be honest."
AA works best and isn't the only way to get and stay sober. It will work for man and for some not at all. I have known some who just quit and never went back just as I have known some smokers who did also. I don't fall into these categories and you are right for me it takes the love, care and support of other recovering members to keep me in recovery.
I see a few have added their stories. I agree that the OP is only describing one type of alcoholic. There are several types of alcoholics. Some drink for boredoms sake, some drink to hide pain, abuse, ect as she said. Some drink to forget daily things. Then before long they HAVE to drink to survive because if they quit they could have seizures and die. Then they become embarrased and sometimes die rather then ask for medical attention. I've only known two particular types. Well...that's not true.. My brother and brother in law started out as drinkers and then quit drinking to do pills which in turn got them doing heroin and meth....ect. Different endings to different stories. ALL TRAGIC no matter what the story. I wish they could all be saved. I wish alcohol would become illegal. I'm reaching for the stars. :) might as well. Your all in my prayers. mwah
