The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know much about steroids, I assume they are anabolic (growth) steroids?
Whatever he's doing, you are feeling much like he is using or slipping and sliding, and you know him best.
There have been some very scary recent events about anabolic steroid use, some pro wrestler was taking them and killed his family and himself. They are often abused, and wreak havoc on lives.
No matter what he is doing, what will you do? If your instincts tell you "this is bad" I'd listen to them. Keep us posted!
wen he first started he would have these outrages, and he said he wouldnt do them again, and he decided he was not big enough, so he started again, i told him the second his anger got bad i would leave?
If you've seen bad stuff before, then chances are it will surface again. Set your boundaries as to what you will and will not put up with, and state them clearly. Then all you can do is take care of yourself, focus on your own behaviour, keep in touch with your higher power.
This may or may not trigger other drug use, but I can see why you are concerned. It does have "relapse potential" written all over it. Remember, though - time spent worrying over what "might" happen does not actually help anything. No point in feeling bad until you have something to feel bad about.
Aloha Gligirl...Abbyal had a sound suggestion. If he is doing something illegal on top of that it might be also sound to forget the worry and make some changes. "Roid" rages have been in the news for about a year now and you can get info about that on your computer. Steroid abuse and addiction also has its victims. Al-Anon is about removing yourself from the victim list and placing your self in security, sanity and serenity. Keep coming back often and reaching out for more support. You're loved here and you will learn to love yourself. What were you feeling and what where your boundaries 2.5 years ago? Has he crossed them with this use? Have you put the boundaries away?
i have only been dating him for 6 months, and he was clean two years prior to that, so his drug use never effected me at all, well wen he was using because i didnt know him...
they are mood altering and i have seen some mood swings, but my concern is it bringing on old behaviors lying, cheating,stealing, and other drugs, because i have set boundries on his behavior, i mean everyone gets mad at rightfully so, but you can tell the roid rage from regular anger, and once i see roid rage i will be out the door
weird thing is this cycle he is very very calm kinda like that dolly llama, i dont kno if he is trying hard to control it, or they are having a different effect on his this time around!
You said the main part right there - where YOU can stick to them. There is no point in someone else saying "Leave him if he..." if you know that you are just not ready to go, for instance.
Try baby steps. Things like leaving the room when you see behaviour that you don't like. Going for a walk. Spending the night with a friend. The point of a boundary is not to make him stop, but to remove you from behaviour you do not want to be around. Do it calmly, don't beat him over the head with it, but do it.
I found for me one of the "turnarouind" moments was when I said, "I love and support you, but I will not allow you to talk to me that way" and walked out the door. I had never done that before. Sure, I'd slammed out, cursing and crying, but had never just calmly protected myself. When I got home, he was calm, and we never spoke of it. He stopped raging at me almost compleetly, though.
