The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have come to the end of my rope with my A. This weekend my son and his wife came in. The first thing my son said to me was "I see you and Dad are still not talking". Last weekend I learned that my A has a gambling problem along with his A. I have also learned that (as far as I know) he has drained some accounts in four months for his gambling. I told my son everything, as I tried to keep everything from him but kids of A parents...know... I am going to see a lawyer on Tuesday for a separation. I am scared..help.
Glad you have found us - do you go to face to face alanon meetings? If not, I really urge you to find the nearest one. This board is helpful, but nothing beats telling the truth out loud to real human beings.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself - we cannot count on the alcoholics in our lives to look out for us. A seperation can give you the chance to do a little thinking without being enmeshed in the drama that the A makes. Remember - you don't have to make any irrevocable decisions until you are ready to.
Read our literature, get to meetings, and spend some time on this board and in chat. Some of what you read will apply to your own situation, and you can make use of some of the experience strength and hope of those who have been there before.
I was taught never to air my dirty laundry (figuratively speaking) in public so I never, never shared all the pain and hurt in my heart over things which I had no control over.
Then in my meetings in Alanon, I learned "we are only as sick as our secrets." To me that meant that the secrets I was keeping was like a poison or cancer inside my body and was growing. Meetings are so very important and learning who you can trust and share your life's story with is important also. Seek out those who are active in recovery, who's program is "attractive" to you. Begin by sharing little secrets that aren't a big deal if others find out. You will quickly learn who you can trust to confide in, and your life will change for the better by working the 12 steps.
Keep coming and keep posting, it does get better, yours in recovery, Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
