I have been away from the boards for a while.... I come back here from time to time to gain some insight on alanon. It has been a long journey for me to travel. But I believe I am catching on to the basics of the program. I am still in love with my A boyfriend. But it is not healthy for me to continue as it has been for the last 4 and half years. A couple months ago I told him I was done that I could not continue with this relationship. That I deserved better. Well.... he went and called his family wanting help. I thought ....then that he would go into treatment. His call asking for help.... well that was 3 months ago. All he managed to do is to get his family ticked off at him and came back home. He lives in a house that his sister took over due to foreclosure. He has not worked since I do not remember when. What little money he gets he drinks it away.  He has started to write bad checks that has no money in the account.  All of this is his problem and i cannot fix it for him. I have advised his sister to STOP helping him out because its not helping him.  In the past few months I have found out that his father had some mental illness issues along with the alcohol addiction. I know that I cannot fix my A but I pray that my higher power will give me the strenght I need to stay strong on what I have decided is best for me. My heart hurt inside missing this crazy insane person he has become. But I am trying to find my own way and know that my higher power is with me. 
I have lost hope for him to find sobriety.... I really hate to think that his bottom will be death. I pray for him,, but I must change what I can for myself and find my own happiness in life. I am thankful for this board so when I am feeling down and depressed about things I can come here for the strenght and the courage to continue on my journey.


mandi